Its my birthday and I cried :(

I'm happy to see that you are so open to the idea of getting help. It's the first and hardest step to take in improving your life. I wouldn't be able to recommend any unfortunately as I don't know any that do international telehealth. I would try betterhelp.com. You have to be careful on this website. Make sure the person has professional credentials such as an LSW or whatever licensing credentials for psychotherapists / social workers your country requires. This will ensure that you are getting quality professional help. Best of luck!

 

These writing exercises really helped me. https://nathanielbranden.com/sentence-completion-i

Give this a try. It might change your life.

 

Happy Birthday my Dude! See the opportunity in every crisis. This is the moment you can see if your life is going in the direction you want. Old people might stay, they might go, but you will meet new people on your path.

 

You need something to occupy your mind with so you will never feel lonely again.
You said you tried meditation but it didn't work out, maybe you did it wrong. Meditation calms your mind and it creates a feeling of inner peace within you.
My friend who is living alone, and according to her: she often meditates 10 hours a day if she feels down. And she never feels lonely.

 

I feel ya bro, recently I decided to take a break from a friend group I was apart of for almost 5 years or so. As of late I had the feeling that not only was I growing apart from them but they were too, almost as if both parties knew the inevitable. Now that college has started they all have dissipated, and now we go our own paths. That thing about birthday calls only for your birthday hit home too. I guess thats just how these things are, we all grow apart and move on.
The part that you spoke of the meditation and work outs not having the same effect as it used to, Ive felt with many things going on in my life too. Many of the things I used to cope other than PMO have really lost their touch and impact. The addiction is calling when you feel low, I know this too well. I can tell you've beaten it with the streak you have.
I know I was late to the party but happy birthday bro.

 

Felt similar couple of days ago. Actually felt like it for some time. Don't block it. Experience pain, suffer as much as you can and it will pass.
When you feel down, remind yourself that "This is what true life means". It will never be just pure bliss and joy. Shit happens, we all get addicted, we all fuck up, we all make mistakes. Talk to yourself as if you're your own best friend and it will be better. Lift weights, walk, move - do things! Don't just sit there.
Good luck.

 

Oh yeah and... Journal your feelings and write down positive stuff. Write what you're grateful for. Thank the Universe for giving you energy even if you don't have it.
And it will sooner or later appear.

 

bro im sure some of your close friends care. i feel same way sometimes, but its just everybody is so busy with their own life. sadly, no one comes to save you. you are gonna make it bro

Just self improve like theres no tmrw. ppl underestimate the HUGE amount of change that can happen in just 1 year, and they can't fathom the monumental shifts of 5-10 years. imagine if you did nofap for the next 5 years...

just dont relapse, and opportunities will come that you never imagined. Hope you are feeling better, all the responses were very supportive and we care about you. sad anon strangers care more and show more support than real life ppl

ur a good guy

 

Man have you tried to read Bible? It sure have milion x more power than those classic books.

 

Man then read Gospels in Bible. They are very positive cause there is love from God and Jesus.
You know that Christianity teaches greatfullness and that alone is a lot to stay positive even in hard times. In the end all that matters is how we lived our lifes.