Day 365 no PMO!!! I’ve wondered for years now if I would ever get here. Feels like a HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT. Interesting that there is not an official change of rank at the 1 year mark. Guess I’ll have to hang in there for another ten days. Next big goal for me will be no PMO in 2022. Good day yesterday. I’ve been walking a lot and listing to The first LOTR book. Walking has been great to fill the alone time. It gives me something to do that I enjoy when everyone else is busy and keeps me far removed from thoughts of sadness and PMO.
Congratulations, terrific achievement! I'm currently wondering if I'm ever gonna get there, but you are one of many that has shown me that it is perfectly possible.
Day 36 Once more time I am reporting early because I need to write. I woke up with a persistent and increasing urge that didn't go away yesterday. It was just a craving for masturbation, not just an urge but a strong desire. Well... Cold Shower... It is incredible how you can feel relief after it, more or less in the same way as if you would relapse. I felt right for some hours, but eventually, the thing returned. I was arguing in my mind as I needed it, really I needed it. Then at some point, I thought. "Ok, you relapse and fulfill your desire... For how long?" The urge lowered a lot after that. I don't want to be a slave; acting now guarantees that I'll feel the same and guilty days after. At this point of the streak, I am confronting one of the problems related to this addiction. What produces urges in me. Because it is a little difference between that and a trigger. Due to porn addiction, I have been developing cravings for "things" that are not morally acceptable or even are not legal. Even though I have been 36 days without PMO and over 60 days without porn, I discovered that this is not enough and I need to work on this. I began yesterday to continue repeating myself, "this is not right" when such images, remember or cravings appear. It is helping. Hoping when I reach 90 days I will be in better shape about this. I feel better after writing it. First time btw. On the other hand, since day 15 more or less I am sleeping a lot better and I fall asleep early. And the journey continues...
This is about day two for me. Spoiler: Crime (not naming anyone) I am going to concentrate on fighting crime, literally. Virtually always, free pornography watching is crime. If my computer pulled up a tube site, for example, and it showed any images of, say, someone under 18, then I was guilty of child pornography. We need to make sure we don't commit offenses. This is the perspective I am taking now. It helps me to realize the seriousness of pm, knowing that it often leads people to do things that would land them in prison if caught. At the same time, I do believe that I can treat myself gently. I will treat myself with kindness and gentleness. I will take one day at a time as well, while keeping my goal of never masturbating again in mind. I think concentrating on both the end goal and the present will help me. I especially need to take small bites for now, and again, to be nice about it. I will be keeping all this in mind, it is a reminder to myself as much as to anyone else. Be well! ~Diderik
Congratulations to all who have become greater beings than Uruk-Hai. I made it to Hobbit only once, I am ashamed to admit.
Day 18 reached! Got up early, worked out and ate helthy. Trying to drink 2 litters of water every day to be more healthy. Working every day in my self control and discipline. Keep strong my brothers and sisters!
Well that makes two of us. Day 1. Back to being an orc again, thankfully not suffering any chasers. I've started getting into the Lord of the Rings books through an audiobook on youtube. So far I'm digging it, even put a smile on my face.
I support that attitude but keep your PMO part in check! Good motivation / Positive goal will help you stay on track.