Falling back to old habits

I have tried cutting down PMO use for years now. During the last 2 years I have gone at it even harder and got some good streaks. The start of this year has not been good. Maybe I have taken this progress I made and think that now I can do it without effort. I know my biggest trigger is loneliness and being rejected. Usually after those I tend to relapse. I have put a relationship first since this year started, not consciously but looking back at it now I have tried my best to find a partner. It just sucks being alone, I am not depressed, at least as far as I know. I have had depressed phases in my past so it is not like I hate life or anything. I am fairly positive minded now that I think about it. But what causes me to write this is frustration of relapsing.

I know to relapse is one of the most counter productive ways of dealing with anything. And I know so many disadvantages that PMO causes - that I can physically sense in me. Still I do it. I dont know if I am just not focused enough. And what I should do. I know how to be busy and a lot of ways of dealing with this addiction. I just tend to forget or dont feel like doing them sometimes, thinking that I am stronger and that I do not need them.

I felt like writing something here. I guess hearing others opinions could help as well.

I know there is no magic pill out of this. And I probably need to wrestle a lot with this addiction. Or there could be a phase where I do not even feel like PMOing that I have had in the past. Only bad thing is that I only have those phases when I fully invest in my self. Only care about my workout, diet etc. I guess going back to that would be nice. I do not know why I think that if I focus on my self, I will not find a partner. It just feels like when I am not trying actively, I have so slim chances of meeting a girl. Or if I do meet one I just become focused on her instead of my progress. And if things do not workout boom PMO. I guess it is a problem in its own to become focused in a girl, dont know tbh. Maybe it would be nice to hear some opinions on this. I know there are a lot of ways to approach this, so if this does sparkle up a conversation I hope that there will not be negativity bashing others opinions.

 

Thank you for the reply! You are right, I should get back to learning from relapses instead of being disappointed for them to happen.

I also really like the middle path idea. That is something I should start doing. Thank you for reminding me about it.

I too tend to go all out and give pressure to get everything done fast and "perfectly". I should try to be more aware of situations and go with the flow.

God bless you.

 

Thanks for the reply and good luck to you as well!
I personally dont think that I fantasize much but maybe I could be more aware and see if I do. I guess looking back now to the situation I was in when I wrote that I just was not doing much and spent too much time online. Its not like now I am cured again but I feel better. Hopefully in the future when I am facing a similar situation I know how to deal with it better. God bless you.

 

thanks for the reply, i agree with you. i have been focusing on my hobbies, education and work as well as a healthy lifestyle as well as actively searching for a girlfriend. sofar i havent found the one. life is good as it is but of course it would be nice to find my future wife. still i have some things ineed to work on more to become a better person.

 

cheers bro, good luck to you too!