Well it kind of depends on your relationship with him. You obviously care about him which is great, but it should be clear that shaming of any kind is not going to work well. (I'm just writing in general, I don't know you so just saying to anyone that might read this) If you can talk about your own experience openly, not in a lecturing kind of way but with genuine care and concern I think it can go a long way.
Simply explain your life of how you were before and how you are now. I see that you have been abstinent for almost the same days as me, congratulations. Everything can be helped, you can explain, nothing more than that. One piece of advice I can give you: look for important documentaries on porn addiction as testimonials. It can be very useful!
I can't give you tips but please don't wait to do it. My little brother was killed 6 years ago this week at the age of 39, and while we were close, made some great memories and talked about a lot of things, PMO was a topic where I never went with him. I suspected that he and I shared the same struggle (which was confirmed in a couple of ways after he passed), and we could have been a great support system for each other if I had done my part as the big brother to surface it (which I was unable/unwilling to do as a result of my own issues). It might seem like it's too awkward to bring up and yeah, they won't be comfortable conversations but if you have any affinity for him at all, it needs to happen. Even if you haven't sorted your own stuff out completely yet, it will be of value to him to know you're in the fight too. Good luck.
There is nothing that beats a serious, geniuine one O one talk from brother to brother. You don't need to be harsh to him about it, but that doesn't mean that you should be nice about it either. Let him know that you want what's best for them and that you don't want them to make the same mistakes as you did. Inform your brother of the many sources about the topic of "Porn addiction" and encourage him to due their due dilligence in order to decide for themselves whether or not that be something they would like to have in their lives. Hold them accountable for their owns actions, and believe me that there's nothing better than that. But especially don't make it seem as if your coming from the big brother that knows it all kind of stature. You should rather communicate in an honest and caring way to showcase that you too are human and prone to making mistakes.
My question is how do u tell the difference between normal "part of growing up" recreational use of porn and masturbation and something more serious like addiction?
By 'normal' do you mean common? Times have changed a lot for those of us in the 40/50 age group, the type of content and the ease of access today is unprecedented, the "supernormal stimulus." These guys are not dealing with some copy of Playboy or a VHS tape some friend happen to get a hold of.
No but the risk is much higher. It's good prevention to talk to a young person like this exactly because it's much harder now and it's normalized. Have you heard of things like OnlyFans? The culture has changed a lot, it's a question of the collective not the individual.
And our relationship to it. There's a little website by a few serious academics called Cyborg Anthropology. One of them, Amber Case has a TED talk titled 'We're all Cyborgs Now'. This is the background most PMO rebooters would not kind of zoom out to look at. The machine metaphor of 'rebooting' is itself evidence of that influence. One has to be very deliberate in using and not being used by tech today since it's really immersive and not necessarily in the VR sense.
Talk through your experiences with him, but don't tell him what to do. Just share your knowledge/wisdom with him and make it clear you are doing it because you care about his wellbeing and not to tell him how to live his life.
