Streak update

This is my fifth day away from porn, masturbation and orgasm, all thanks to Allah, but today I have been feeling a slight urge to relapse. I have been very active these past 4 days, praying, going to university and going out with my friends but today I feel I am a little tired. I have not been getting good quality sleep lately because of Ramadan and all the night prayers (Qiyam) and university. But I have not been studying properly, Procrastinating my work has been one of the greatest triggers for me to relapse back into porn. So I need to be very careful and be expecting of the urges that may show up in the upcoming days and try to neutralize them thoughts rapidly and get back to do my things. I got back to reading Your brain on Porn book and I finished 150 pages of it, it is reminding me of the addiction neuroscience and it eases the feelings of shame and guilt and makes me more motivated along this journey.

 

1 question...
Please quote me ONE statement from any Bible where Jesus proclaimed himself to be God. You will not find it.

I've tried to be open minded about Christianity and yet I struggle to understand your core belief. The trinity is said to be the mystery and yet it doesn't add up at all.

If Jesus interacted with you then shed more light on that.
Did he appear to you as a physical image who spoke to you? If yes, describe to us how he looked.
What language did he speak to you in?
Lastly, what exactly did he say to you?

Please clarify these points.

 

Assalamu Allaykum brother. I'm glad you are hanging on and may Allah reward you for your struggle to remain on the right path.
He knows your struggle and you are trying your best.
Urges will always be there whether you look for it or they appear to you.
Continue to be productive and try your best to not entertain the urges. We entertain them by fantasizing.
Try to lower your gaze as Allah told us to do in the Quran.
Of course these are not something easy to do when you are addicted to the adult contents. But recovery is very possible.
I'm on day 8 myself and I have good days and bad days but I'm trying to hold on. It's all in the mindset. Train your mind and the body will follow as they say.
InshAllah take it easy. Slow but surely you will see results.

 

Thank you, I hope you win over your porn addiction too, man. I hope you think critically about your belief system and research to see if the Quranic version of Jesus makes more sense than the Trinitarian doctrine that highly resembles the Polytheistic religions of the Roman empire. God does not need a son or to incarnate himself in a human form to forgive us for our sins, all praise is to him.

 

wa alaikom elsalam dear brother, I wish you a sincere Tawbah from this addictive sin.

 

unfortunately I relapsed yesterday but Inshallah, I will do my best to establish and maintain another streak. I have started taking an antidepressant therapy (Prozac or fluoxetine) to help me through out this journey. It greatly helped me achieve 70 days in 2020 when my psychiatrist prescribed it to me and highly encouraged me to take it. I am planning inshallah to start it back again with a small dose of 20 mg, I am not a fan of antidepressants but it reduced the intensity of sexual urges and will help regulate my mood. The downside of it is the side effects in the first few weeks, it causes insomnia and anxiety but after a while it works for me. I am just updating my journey over here and I don't recommend anyone to take any medications without medical supervision. I am also a sixth year medical school so I have a modest information about them drugs. May Allah ease my pain and heal me from this addiction.

 

May Allah forgive you, we all have setbacks now and again.
Keep trying your best and one day you will overcome this issue. This is for all of us struggling.
I took Prozac for 9 months, this was around 2014/15 I think. Personally it didn't work for me and I gained weight from it.
That is just my experience with it. I have not taken an antidepressant since however we are all different. Not all experiences will be the same. All the best to you with that.
I pray Allah eases your pain and heal you from this addiction, Ameen. Stay strong brother

 

I also drew a brain figure with little circles on a paper and I will be marking a small circle for each day and connect them together. There are about 89 circles and they are divided into 3 groups where each group comprises a month. I stuck the paper on the wall infront of my desk to remind me that this is a pathological addiction that I have been suffering from and eases the feelings of guilt and shame. I think it will help me to stay motivated inshallah.

 

I totally agree, Antidepressants works quite differently in each individual. A friend of mine took Prozac and he did not compliant of any side effects like me. I lost weight when I was Prozac as I was working out regularly.

 

may god help you too brother and all the ummah from this poison. I was thinking about it for a while and realized I have been struggling a lot to get rid of this addiction for more than 10 years. It feels like a prison and to see my hair falling and my body getting older and am still on this shit really breaks my heart. in 2016 I thought I would get over it and every time I would decide I am no longer using this, I would feel like that's it but I find myself back.

 

it jeopardizes my relationship with god and it really affects my concentration, memory and psychological health. Walahi it messes me up completely.

 

I can totally relate. We feel rejuvenated once we make a pledge to ourselves and to Allah that we will never return to it but the heart is too attached to it.
This didn't happen overnight of course and so recovering from it will require patience and willpower to continue onwards.
Allah makes it clear that he made us to make mistakes so we can return to him and seek his forgiveness. Don't lose hope.
The feeling of guilt, shame, loss of self respect and self identity, all of these I'm familiar with all too well. But not doing anything about it is not the answer.
I'd rather try and fail then sit and give up.
Brush yourself off, make dua, pray your salah, read your Quran, do dhikr and be patient.
Keep moving forward one day at a time.

 

Btw brother I am 32 about to be 33 soon and I've been indulging since my early teens.
Believe me, the sickening guilt I've felt over the years I can't explain.
But I have hope that sooner or later I will rid myself off this filth.

 

keep pushing my man, I found out that this addiction strives on the secrecy so always

Inshallah we are going to do this, I have 3 days now alhumdullah in my streak, I watched a religous lecture yesterday about the private sins and its effects on a believer, it can shatter our iman completely if we let it. Allah subhannah wa taala gets angry too because basically we are hiding behind our screens away from other people watching this filth and violating our own bodies. Allah is most mericful but we should not forget that his punishment is the most painful. I think we need to externalize this addiction and try to seek help online and in real life, if there is someone who is trustworthy. Keeping this inside of us does burn our self worth and pushes us deeper into the cycle.

 

inshallah with duaa , patience and god’s will we are going to get through this together.

 

This is a photo of my figure counter, got 3 days out of the 90 days brain alhumdullah.

 

Today is the seventh day of nofap alhumdullah, things have been going well and I have been praying daily and making istighfar to Allah. But I have been feeling down lately.