There is a part of me that can't let go of the fact that I never had a girlfriend in high school or even in my 20s. In fact I seem to have pushed potential girlfriends away due to self-esteem issues. Now, I feel like part of the reason I can't stop my PMO addiction is because, I feel like I missed out. And I know, not stopping PMO will just make matters worse, but saying that to myself doesn't help me quit PMO. Anyone else have similar feelings due to porn addiction?
Sure, I have similar feelings. You didn't miss much by not having a girlfriend in high school--the relationship I had with mine was probably the least healthy relationship I've had in life. Few kids in high school, for kids they are, have the maturity for a meaningful relationship. That was my one and only girlfriend, and I'm far closer to 30 than I am 20 now. My feelings about not having a girlfriend throughout my 20s ebbs and flows. Sometimes it fills me with regret; more recently I lean into the idea that I need to have my PMO addiction under control before I meaningfully consider having one. You hit the nail on the head that keeping on with PMO only makes matters worse. I have a hard time looking at people in the few hours after PMO, let alone having a conversation with them. We have to keep strong and not get bogged down by our feelings of having missed out. I suspect that both of us subliminally use them as an excuse to return to PMO--if we've missed out, why not just return to that well of (false and fleeting) pleasure?--and then we're stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle.
Yeah, I'm 20 and I've never been remotely close to having a girlfriend, and I think it's a combination of my PMO related low self-esteem issues, the fact that I'm not attractive and my introverted and anxious personality type. Even though I'm still young, I feel like i missed out on certain aspects of social life, so I am trying as best as I can to step out of my comfort zone slowly but with a steady pace.
I am 55 and never been remotely close to having a girlfriend either. I used to think it explained my PMO addiction, but I don't think so anymore. Now I believe it is just something about my brain's chemistry that makes PMO more addictive to me than it is to others. I also do not think the PMO addiction explains my psychological problems (social anxiety, depression/anxiety, etc.). That's brain chemistry again, and the problems existed long before I entered puberty. It's just the way I am.
Ok bud I read your post and looks like I'm talking with my old self ten years ago... looks like the most you go after happiness, it runs away faster out you. I was diagnosticated with depression even though I had suicidal thoughts.... I got medicated but the things get worse... I couldn't feel anything that all... meds were not for me so I decided to try something new. That's when Nofap enter the game and my life has improved sometimes skyrocketing... others at snail step. But improvement is improvement! Right pal? And then as I grew older I realized that the things that I thought they could somehow "get me back to my tracks" didn't help at all. Which ones are your values? The stuff that make you whole as person? I don't know but the good news are you are in the road to discover it. So, fight the good fight keep this process of self-discover and enjoy the trip! You'll enjoy the beautiful landscape once you get the summit I'll assure you that!!
