Well from PMO addiction fucking nightmares, discovered nofap it has been almost 4 years clean from PMO and it came to conclusion that I'm just fucking gay... fighting all the addiction for nothing... Okay here how i diagnosed with HOCD... It has been 4 months since i developed HOCD another form of OCD... During times before i fought out about HOCD was... Losing women attraction and gay fantasize about me fucking a feminine guy in the ass... At that time it was the peaked of HOCD, it wasn't triggered until one of my coworker teased me that i might be gay also i was staring at the dude with compulsive that's how i developed HOCD... During my PMO addiction periods i watched all porn categories, straight, lesbian, hentai, gay, transwomen, the most addictive one is hentai trap... At those times i was still crushing on girls, high sexual drive to women attraction even while watching this disgusting forum in private... After developed HOCD I start to flashbacks all the fetish shits i watched... Shit is getting worsen... Today I'm just tired of fighting the thoughts.. i came to conclusion i might be gay... I'm not sure but i might as well wanna try have sex or idk man... I just feel defeated i didn't know, rwhat to do anymore... Maybe PMO addiction is buried my real sexuality idk man... I'm in confusion but somehow i feel like i might be gay... Thinking about gay porn make me hard, also strong compulsive and urges... I can't seem to deny anymore, I'm tired of fighting with my own head 24/7 hours everu single day is fucking exhausted...
Hey brother, I can understand you well and share my sorrow with you. I'm also in this trap (if it should be one) and I don't know what to do anymore. I'll keep it short as I'm writing from my phone...I'm also at a point where I'll say if it were so then so be it but I just can't accept it for me! The last few weeks have actually been quite tolerable for me and I have completely dispensed with P. Now the shit haunts me in my sleep! I dream as I sit at the PC and masturbate on my fetish and get a wet dream .... That totally threw me back. I don't know anymore.....
Friend, congratulations to your progress. You should be celebrating and not feeling down. Give yourself some break please, will you? These things take longer before all these pictures from your head disappear. What you need to do is shut off your mind. Stop fighting your thoughts. Stop that noise. You are not your thoughts so stop identifying with them. You can do this.
See this june as an opportunity. Just stop this all bad thoughts and you must look at improving your life on the month of june.
In my personal experience because I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. I believe that the devil wants to keep us slaves and in bondage in our minds so he sends us disgusting thoughts and wants us to believe it's us thinking them so we hate ourselves, give up and go back into the cycle of depression and hatred. These are my beliefs and I just thought I would would share my thoughts.
Yea, and this gay fantasize and lose women attraction is occurring after long streaks which is give me a concern about my sexuality... I wasn't plan for this
I seriously hope these thoughts aren't real, just novelty i created base from the blue print of porn fetishes during addiction periods... In case i don't wanna be gay...
I don't actually afraid if I'm truly gay but in fact these feeling come and goes also i never had encounter sexual romantic towards same gender at all during younger years at all... I'm afraid if i act out on those compulsive and thoughts i might regretted it
If it's been four years, and you haven't been feeding those thoughts with M'ing over fantasy, that's not exactly impulsive any more. Now, maybe you still don't want to do it. You still have that choice. You don't get to choose what you feel, but you do get to choose what you do. For example, when we're in the thick of recovery from PMO addiction we feel we want to look at porn and beat off, but that doesn't mean we are doomed to do it and it doesn't even mean we will feel that way forever. At least, not that strongly. We choose not to do it. Likewise, even if you get to where you feel no attraction for women and strong attraction toward men, you still get to choose what you do. If you're okay with exploring that, you can. If you're not, you don't have to. You get to choose.
I do not have same gender attraction only women attraction is fading... Which is weird. I'm not sure if I'm in heavy denial but at least these things should happened earlier so, I don't have to excuses... Also I'm scared if hooking up with a dude and actually like or dislike might regretted and change my life forever...
Don't listen to these people telling you there's nothing wrong with being gay. You're not gay, man, you just have a distorted mind because of your porn and masturbation habits. I unfortunately cannot advise you on that, since you said you do not even watch porn anymore; but if you pursue women and succeed in securing a relationship, you will quickly realize that you are not gay at all.
You wrote exactly my words I have situations which i cant explain what is happening. Its due to porn. I have hope it gets an end.
You could try a passive approach and hope it just "goes away", or you can actively work against it. I as a Christian will never recommend sex outside of marriage, whether in the form of casual sex or having a girlfriend. However, you have to understand that, until you do something with an actual woman and realize the ridiculousness of your "homosexual" feelings, those feelings will probably not go away. The only thing I can recommend to you is getting married eventually. I also propose to you the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ came to free us from our sins and all of the things that trouble us. He suffered and died for His love for us, that through His righteousness we may, as imperfect and evil beings, come close to God, who will give us the help that we need. Then He conquered death through His resurrection, an event that actually has a substantial amount of historical evidence in its favor. Life is never easy, but if it was then it wouldn't be worth living. I believe that. But God wants to help us, and He will if we ask Him to. What you are experiencing is the natural consequence of your actions. We all have felt it. God has made the world in such a way that unnatural and immoral actions have bad effects on the person who performs them. But His hand is always stretched out to us. Repentance is a powerful thing.
i as a Muslim confirm but find in this time a good girl Its so unfair seeing boys who are half my age fucked and did things i havent even imagined. You always wanted to live by the rules and now you are paying for it. I am so disappointed from life. No mood and motivation.
With all the 57 genders that are defined today, or whatever the current tally, I think there's wide room here on the spectrum. One no longer needs to own hard labels as "gay," especially as it's a loaded term that includes much more than same-sex attraction - it also comes with a whole social and political baggage which one may not be about. Hence, because of your P influence, I think it's safe to say that you are a straight man who happens to have some same-sex attraction (SSA) at this time, which usually comes from a place inside that's really not about wanting sex with men, but wanting to heal one's inner masculine side and wounded love of boyhood self by getting these things from other men, so to speak, rather than working on the healing of your inner masculine in and through yourself, which is harder. On the highest symbolic level (almost the way dreams adopt elaborate symbolism) having sex with a man can be symbolic of a need to imbibe (oral symbolism) masculinity or have it directly injected into you (anal symbolism), or even feeling the comforting embrace of a man (a man's arms), where you lack that love within yourself - OR, some combinations of all three. Yet, none of this is about being gay, per se, but that you are trying to find healing of your masculine side on some deep level, especially where you feel you may be lacking here, or a wounded side of you that may have got abused as a boy (as from bullies, sex abuse, perceived male bashing in society, etc.). Thus, you're a straight man with same-sex issues at this time, and for very logical and rational reasons at that (including porn twisting your thinking, reinforced/enacted by MO dopamine hits to brain). As healing comes along, especially ridding yourself of PMO and other fetishes and compulsions perhaps, this SSA may slide the spectrum once again toward more opposite sex attraction - yes, attraction can be that fluid, especially if one's original orientation was disturbed to begin with. Relax, heal, be at peace, many are in this boat. Courage, man!
You should watch some videos by David Wood. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuXxHEHGRVu_6yskiyV6MnoTp4JngyZ2z
