I am not going to give up against my addiction. I don't care if my addiction is 9 years long I will not die a slave to my addiction. I am resetting my counter again. Whoever reading this, plz never ever give up friend, we all can do it just don't give up. You are a warrior and warrior never die giving up, You can do it, get your courage and beat your addiction.
I have failed too many times, my life is passing and i am stuck with this habit, it has wasted almost 10years of my life. I don't get urges at day time, at night time when i am alone i get urges and then i relapse and then same cycle of guilt and regret. This will be my last try because this is the end of this habit, i can't carry this with me anymore. All i want is peace and with this habit it is not possible for me to attain peace so i am leaving this habit. i have betrayed my parents trust and i feel regret and sadness everytime i think about it. This habit has tarnished my consciousness, I want to be a better person in life this is probably the biggest challange in my life till now, i can't believe that i have been a slave for 10years. But today from this very second i become free. My new life starts now. I'll be back after my counter shows 100 days of no PMO. I hope that you all are doing well and good, More power to all who are fighting their addiction to do something meaningful in their life. Peace
Well, I relapsed too many times after i type the last message here. It's so sad to know when you realise that you are no longer in control of your body and everything is going in an auto pilot mode and that too in the wrong direction but that will never stop me to try harder. I am starting my journey again. (Not going to make any promises that i fail to keep so this time i am just trying to become free from this habit.) Peace
Man, you really have to try again, but it doesn't seem that you're learning from your past mistakes proficiently. Maybe sit down by a desk, write down a plan for your week, and stick to it. Write down things that you use when urges come too. Let that list of things be constantly in front of your eyes, so that when any urge appears, you'll be ready with your own arsenal. When we get urges, we tend to forget what helps us, but having that list in front of you might help. Think hard about every aspect of your problem and make a serious plan. Don't sway from that plan no matter what. Don't go for any excuses. It's your life at stake, and you know you hate that feeling of hopelessness. Stay strong!
Hey friend, i hope you are doing well in your life, thank you so much for your advice, I'll surely make that list today and yes you are absolutely right, i am not giving my 100% in this thing, I am making excuses to do a relapse and i also hate that feeling when that happens. In some part of my mind, I haven't accepted the fact that i can beat this addiction and sometimes my mind don't want to leave this addiction (when the urges come).It's been around 9 years. I fed this monster too much and now it is not getting out of my mind. But i also think that it was me who made this monster big and maybe i can destroy what i created but that moment( when the urges come) i can't think of anything else other than a relapse. I have made so many false promises on nofap, to myself, my family and i became a person that nobody can trust. I am not a man of my words. I never thought this would end up like this. It is really surprising and saddening when I see myself. I became a slave to my mind. I don't know why i am writing these things here. But lets not stop trying, I am starting again today. Peace
Take matters into your hands. It's never over until you really give up. Make a plan, stick to it. You had better days, so remember those and win them back.
I have realized one thing ever since I joined this website, I have had streaks of 7,8,12,18 and maximum 24 days but I guess I was fooling myself in this whole journey. I was never trying to leave this addiction, those streaks were simply the result of immense guilt, frustration, anger in my life, it was I who was feeding my addictions and it was me who was not replacing that addiction with other way more better and meaningful things in life. I have been fooling myself and everyone around me but it is also true that I hate that industry(i am being honest here), if someone would give me the power to exterminate one thing from this world and if I have the option to replace it with something else then I would choose to eradicate prostitution and pornography industry and anything which is making money by promoting lust( most of you guys agree with me I guess) from this world and replace it with , education, understanding and knowledge. I know nobody cares about what I think and I know that I don't have the power to change the world right now but at least I have something that I can change right now and it is my LIFE. STARTING TODAY (15 JUNE 2022)
Hello! I have started reading your journal since today and I really find it very interesting and I appreciate your honesty! One thing I want to tell you is that there is a specific section for journals, you have to go to reboot logs and find your age group, because this section is for new comers. Now that is over, I want to tell you that the same way that you are being honest here you should also ALWAYS be honest with yourself, because remember that the worst lies are those that we tell to ourselves! Also, I do agree with your opinion on how it should be forbidden for someone to make money in this way as I do liked what you said in the end and hope this time you can keep your word! A few advices that I can give you is first of all to believe more to yourself! Think about your future and who YOU want to BE! Also, since you know what's right for you start doing it!
Thank u so much friend, i really appreciate those humble words, I'll keep that in my mind. I wish all the power to you to become a better version of yourself. and yes you are right i am shifting my journal to the Journal section, thank u for your advice friend.
Hello Guys, I have shifted this journal to the reboot logs, I will continue to record my journey in that thread. Thank you My new journal link- https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/trying-to-become-human-journal-2.332689/
