done an unforgivable sin planning for suicide

Hav u tried talking to a therapist or someone who can help?

 

The fact that you want to kill yourself over having a cuckold fantasy just shows how strong your character is. Some people go down the rabbit hole of PMO and end up molesting little kids, raping people, or doing other really bad shit.

I don't think you deserve to die over this. Stay alive and try to engage in as little sexual activity or thoughts as possible. Your brain will heal itself in due time. Abstinence cures all.

Sometimes being super nervous around someone you like can be a warning sign too. A warning sign that this person is going to end up hurting you really bad in the future. You might think it was your cowardice holding you back from confessing your love, but really it could have simply been your better angels.

 

Yes, you are worthy to live. Live good and be good. If she accepts you then be happy and have fun with her. Girls like fun.

Whatever you do, don't tell her about your weakness or your problems. Girls do not want to hear about stuff like that, she will run.

Personally, I would give her the cold shoulder for a while since she already linked up with your homie. Put her on ice and don't message her again until she hits you up first. Then go from there. Keep it light, keep it fun. You will succeed.

 

لاتسمع الافكار سلبية انت افضل منغمس

 

god with u
even in ur name so why u afraid
do something better after a break

 

I'm getting off the PUA, but you probably need it. Read the Rational Male. Channel that anger into exercise. Take up a hobby. Are you employed? If you're living off of your mother and expecting her to pay for your wedding, then get a job. I think that Allah is testing your character because he loves you, so become a masculine man who takes action and you will be rewarded.

 

You tell someone else about your problems. Like a friend or even your mom. You don't have to tell the full story, you can tell a watered down one, but getting this out will remove a lot of tension that you have.

 

@krishna _ 1 You're not broken my friend. You're in pain. You're struggling. None of these things mean that you don't deserve love. You don't need to do anything to prove yourself worthy to love. You're one of us. You're just as important and valuable as anyone else. You don't deserve to feel less just because of this addiction you have. You're very deserving of love my friend.

 

Time, getting out of this takes time. But within a year's time you will be happy to say that you continued living.

 

Definitely meet up with a professional therapist! This group and awesome supporting people are great but you have to talk to a psychologist, my dear friend.

 

Hello Krishna
You have already taken some big steps into fixing this, and you CAN fix this.
You are spending a lot of energy recognizing that you have a problem, that is good, your problem isnt new, or uncommon, in fact, we are all here because we have a problem that is bothering us. You have set extremely high standards for yourself to live up to, and that is ok too. Now that you have disappointed yourself, you have to work on becoming the person you can approve of. Suicide isnt the answer, it's not your punishment, you became trapped by a fantasy, it's an addiction, not a crime.
You can use your energy better by reading about sexual addictions and behaviours, it will help you understand how your brain became tricked by a carefully created cruel system of porn.
You can get free of it.
That's why you are here
I understand what you are saying, that you cant be with her and not tell her about what you imagined her as. I get it. But before you condemn yourself for this, at least free your brain from the problem of porn and think about yourself with a clear mind.
Your brain and thoughts can be pure and healthy, you just have to start taking it back.