I feel like someone on a diet They know junk food sucks, they do have the discipline to abstain from it (because they know junk food sucks), but they still miss it. Or in other words: They are disappointed that Junk Food sucks, that something so tasty sucks Now replace Junk Food with PMO How can I deal with it? It's a hard pill to swallow, it's just a very harsh reality to accept that something so good feeling like PMO ultimately sucks (as it leads to sexual frustration in the long term, just like junk food sucks as it leads to weight gain in the long term)?
I think one has to reach their own conclusions through experience. Like when Eisenhower, a chain smoker, learned of the health hazards of smoking, he quit cold turkey on the spot. But the decades of experience he had in life and in cultivating his own personal values made that decision have weight. So I initially wanted to quit PMO so my junk would work when I get on the dating scene in Germany. (I've had sex before, but I could not get myself to O.) But some weeks in, it just struck me just how profoundly distorted my perceptions, expectations, and demands of sex have become after well over ten years of porn edumacation. At that point, I realized that if I wanted to reboot as quickly as possible, I would have to put aside every fantasy and impure thought I would have towards a woman (which wasn't super hard since I live in the middle of fucking nowhere). But the more important point was that if I ever went back, I would be lubing up the years old neural pathways that would encourage me to remain a lecherous pervert. Will I stumble later on? I have no idea. But I've never gone this far before either.
Eventually that good feeling is dwarfed by guilt, shame, depression, ED, and ever more extreme porn as you chase the dopamine high. The hot but regular porn you enjoy will be replaced by videos that will leave you enthralled into sexual slavery, mental decay, and physical deformity - all followed by incredible self loathing.
You don't. At least not immediately. The whole point of missing PMO is that you're still recovering. There are other, more powerful things that also feel so good (about 10x better than PMO in average), and also have terrible long-term consequences for your life, but you don't miss them since you aren't addicted to them (and be thankful for that). Unfortunately, there are many former addicts who never stop missing the stuff they were addicted to, but there are also ones that do stop. The problem with looking through this forum is the bias: the people who have fully recovered just lose interest and stop coming here, because sincerely, we're pathetic. (How much time do you spend on forums for heroin addicts?: ) The only people with high counters you still see around here are, I guess, people who still haven't recovered to the point of not missing PMO at all, though they have developed self-discipline enough that they can function normally.
That's already the method I am using. It's kind of related to Allen Carr's "Way to stop smoking", where one realizes that smoking does not have any benefits and that any excuse to continue smoking is bullshit.
Addicts have an incredible ability to lie to themselves to justify using, be wary of any excuses you're starting to think make sense, no matter if they're from others or from yourself.
