9 months or longer on nofap and still same issue - about to break up with my gf…

Hello, guys . I’m 36 years old . Like many of you here, history of porn use from about age 14 to 34 years old and daily masturbation sometimes two or three times a day . I quit porn entirely 2 years ago but I would still masturbate to fantasy sometimes multiple times a day until July of last year , 2021. Initially I did hard mode from July 2021 until December 2021 and then saw my girlfriend who lives in another country . I did not notice any improvements except a ridiculous sensitivity and would blow my load as they say within minutes . However, no erections from visual cues. I would always require touch and would occasionally use ED pills to make things easier . After December 2021, I figured maybe those 4.5 months from July until December 2021 were not enough . Well, guess what ? I continued to do hardmode from mid-December 2021 until now- September 2021- 9 months . Absolutely zero orgasms , masturbation , no erotic pictures , nothing . Zero sexual cues .I am now with my girl after 9 months of this and don’t see or any feel any different so far . I am still sensitive as hell and I have not been able to penetrate because as soon as she strokes me or gives me BJ I ejaculate . My concern is that this nofap rebooting has not made any changes to me . At least not that I can see . She’s beautiful and has a lovely body and while I enjoy her I don’t spontaneously get an erection around her just from her undressing or watching her change etc . Even in bed , for me to get going, it’s always the same thing - she has to fondle me , stroke me , start off with a BJ. 9 months since December 2021 until now and I would have thought I’d be healed by now ? Also, before you guys say anything - I have HARD morning wood almost every day, normal testosterone , I work out , and eat pretty clean too . I am just not very easily aroused by sight at all it seems and seems I am unable to just pop a random erection from sight or other cues without manual help /oral from my girl . Is this still a byproduct of PIED? I mean , 9 months of nofap hard mode plus the 4.5 months from July until December of last year . That’s over a year . And porn gone . During my 9 months I would barely fantasize about sex at all and felt complete lack of desire too so it was easy for me to do it . Am I done rebooting my mind ? Perhaps now I have to rewire to her ? One thing I have noticed over time is sexual dreams I’ve had that I don’t recall having when I was into porn and frequent fapping . Over all these months I’ve had a number of these sex/erotic dreams . Please help me guys . And should I use pills occasionally in the mean time until my brain establishes a connection (rewires) with my woman ?

I’m really starting to consider breaking up with my gf. I’ve tried to have sex 3 times in the last 1.5 days and I can barely achieve an erection because as soon as she fondles my penis or starts with a BJ I bust . Within seconds . I just had a moment an hour ago and within literally 30 seconds or less with my penis still quite flaccid in her hand and mouth I ejaculated . But when I’ve taken an ED drug in the past while on this nofap journey I’ve been able to get decently hard . 9 months since December 2021 plus 4.5 months between July and December 2021 and this is what I get ? I’m about to pop a pill just to get my confidence going . I’ve tried touching, caressing, kissing, it’s like I experience little arousal during the moment . I may want to have sex but it’s like my body doesn’t go into arousal mode in preparation for sex . I may have some pre-seminal fluid leak out but not much else . Penis remains flaccid . I can eat my woman out and while I enjoy that my body doesn’t seem to respond . I don’t think there is anything left to try and do at this point . It doesn’t seem likely more time is the answer . I have to embarrassed myself these last two days and am really on edge of letting this girl go . Someone please help with any thoughts or guidance .

 

The sensitivity is so intense that in the last 2 days , I’ve ejaculated 4 times all within the span of 30-45 seconds each time from her stroking my penis and oral sex to get me hard . Unfortunately, I barely even have a chance to get a decently hard erection from her stroking me, oral etc because with just a half /semi in her mouth or hand I end up finishing from the intensity . This has happened 9 months ago as well and I noticed the sensitivity normalized within a few days . 9 months ago I had already completed 4.5 months of hard mode but now the sensitivity is unreal . I recognize nofap has restored sensitivity /ability to orgasm very well, but so far no improvement on erectile function . I may either go back to taking ED medicine for the time being until my body/system gets a damn clue and makes a connection that an erect penis, naked woman , and pleasure are linked .