15 months without MO, I need some advice because I'm thinking about quitting this journey.

I won't write my whole life story because quite honestly, it has been shit for the most part because of my looks and self esteem issues, which lead me to being overall a huge pussy and I never learned to just man up and face life.

I just moved out 1 month ago from my parent's house and reality is hitting back.

I haven't MO in 15 months, but I've consumed plenty of P.

I'm conviced that the universe at this point just wants me to relapse. I feel like everyone is just disgusted with the sexually deprived vibe my ugly akward ass is giving. Some people even told me I look horny. I feel like a bad person for not just rubbing one out like everyone else and stop trying to be such a special snowflake who will somewhat change is shit life just by not spanking the monkey.

I just graduated not long ago and got a good job, got my appartment but I'm still a lonely dude like I always have been all my life. I'm conviced at this point suicide is the only logical option and the world AND the universe just wants me dead.

I'm not looking for comfort, but if there is a single person out there who thinks there is a point in keeping on the NoFap journey, I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading.

 

Hey thanks man.

I lift weight everyday, but I just recently bought boxing gloves because I wanted to join a martial arts gym. But I'm in my late twenties and I feel like I don't belong in there anymore. I know it's dumb as hell of a reason, but I feel like this is a place for young guys in their primes, plus I'm a sweaty dude and I don't want to disgust people with my sweat.

It's funny you mention the army, because with my degree I taught about joining as an officer instead to keeping the office job.

I will try to stay around this forum more because I haven't had a group a partner sharing the same goals in a long time, and people around here seem to be positive for the most part.

Good luck to all in your path to success.

 

Yes, I try hard to cut on this crap but it seems I always find a way to justify watching it. And the more I watch it, the more my OCD and psychosis kicks in.

Stopping MO to me has been easy, its the P that's I can't seem to drop.

 

Hey thanks brother.

I have perpetual toughts about suicide and how I ruined my life and there is not recovery, like God or the universe is fed up with my BS and wants me to end it because it knows I will never be a productive member of society, but this is the kind of truth I know could improve my life.

I joined again this website, because it is one of the few place which seems to have a positive outlook on life instead of the incel mentality that is so toxic for the mental wellbeing of a man.

If anyone is interested, I will keep posting daily update to keep a positive mindset around here. I do feel less like a failure when I don't watch porn.

Today no P watching was done. I know it's not the right time, but for the first time in a year, I joined a dating app and tried to approach 1 women. I have not approached any women IRL in like 4 years, haven't had unpaid sex in 7 years, and only a handful of approach I made on some dating app throughout those 4 years. Of course I got no replies, but I feel like my masculinity comes back when I at least try to pursue some women instead of just quitting because I'm not 6 foot plus and handsome like the incel community keeps saying is the only way to get women.

 

I think you are right on the postponing the dating for a while. Yesterday, a women actually replied to me and I'm getting matches, but my life is so boring and I have no social skill so I just don't know what to say at all. The conversation keeps dying.

Maybe I should actually make the reasonable decision for once and focus on improving for a while instead of jumping straight ahead in the gaming world. But at the same time, being away from it for so long you kind of feel like a loser and a coward who never actually try to get girls.

Sometimes I wonder if talking to girls is a skill to learn, or if you are truly happy things just comes naturally to you.

Have a nice productive day everyone.

 

Thanks a lot for the positivity brother.

I'm a muscular guy but kind of overweight and out of shape cardiovasculary. I think I will focus on cardio for a while to shed some pounds before joining a martial art gym, but it will still takes courage and some balls for me because of my social anxiety to join such a gym. I did when I was in my late teens, and quite frankly I got my ass whooped repeatedly.

I prefer to avoid both P and MO because I feel my libido is still pretty low despite my actually obsession with getting laid, and I feel bad everytime I relapse. That's why I'm currently on a 15 months streak. But I know it's not the only thing to do to improve myself. As far as P goes, it's really hard (right now my brain is trying to justify watching it to "wake up" my libido since it's dead). But I will keep fighting.

Good luck to you in whatever path you are on right now.

 

Ok, this will be somewhat of a rent but here it goes:

To be honest with you, I'm currently taking ADHD meds and an antipsychotic which kind of lowers the libido and increase willpower. Without them, I would most likely have relapsed some time ago. I think a normal healthy man couldn't go that long without MO or any kind of sexual relationship anyway.

Plus, I'm just recently starting to work. For the past 15 months, I was living in my mother's basement, just going to college, eating shit and being overall depressed. My libido isn't the same anymore at my age that it was at 18 on top of that.

Now that I'm living on my own and facing the real world, my interest in women seems to slowly come back up, but the realisation and self awereness of the fact that I'm a lazy, disgusting, coward, immature and emotional man is hitting me lick a brick.

I trying to improve so many things at once but it's hard because of the shame I'm constantly feeling of the bad decision I took in the past and the huge pussy I've become (or I always was).

But, I decided to start blaming my looks for lack of success with women and take responsability for the situation I am in right now. And it starts with taking a big look in the mirror, being honest about what you need to improve about yourself and face your fears (which I have a lot of) in order to growth mentally, physically and emotionally.

I know I need to improve my higiene, redo my wardwore (my parents were still dressing me in my late twenties because I'm too lazy, shy and poor to dress my self). I need to improve my diet, get in better shape (lose fat and gain more muscle). I need to work on my social skills, work on my passion and find something to do in my free time other than lay in bed and dream about women. I need to get a car which I haven't had in 6 years. I need to stop being lazy. I need to stop avoid stressful situation and face my fears. I need to accept my physical appareance and just work with what I got, and try to improve the best I can with it. I need to stop relying on pills to get my through life. Maybe even pay for some therapy to work on self-esteem issues. Quite frankly, I just need to get my shit together.

Thanks for reading if you have been throught it all. I hope someone in a bad situation on this website right now find some motivation to work on a weakness of his today. Keep working HARD brothers.

 

I'm getting a good pay, yes. But I just never had an interest in travelling, because quite frankly I'm a coward and afraid of having the be alone in a place where I don't know anyone and my social anxiety stops me often from just going outside.

It may be a challenge I could take, to travel sometimes when I get vacation. I just don't know where to go, maybe Asia?