The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 1, again.

 

Day 425

Sad and happy at the same time. I'm praying for you brother, you will be free... God bless you.

 

You never passed 6 months? Then again you are married, this harder for you. Sorry that I can't help at the time when your struggling including others. Sometimes, I don't know how to advise people here and other challenges. So I don't know what to say or anything just support here.

Sad to hear bro. Take care and see your another time. Next time, you can beat this PMO Ring for good. God Bless brother.

 

Day 0 checking in.

Sucks really, close to 7 days as well. But I haven't reach 5+ days without PMO in a while when I tried to do it alone. So this community and challenge has certainly helped. Oh well, time to start over and do better. LETS GO!

 

Day 4 complete!

I did peek at cartoon porn today, but I didn't touch myself at all and I willingly walked away, so I'm still considering myself clean. Today will be marked as yellow in my tracker, though, and I'll be extra cautious tomorrow. Cold showers are helping me stay focused in this streak.

@RiseToGreatness Good luck, brother. We will eagerly await your return. The old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost. God be with you!

St. John the Evangelist, pray for us!

 

Day 10. Sitting chilling on amon sul with my phone, and catch myself about to start scrolling through social media looking for pictures. Jeez these wraiths are good, I didn’t even see them coming. Sam grabs my phone off me and gives me a slap, tells me to get my sh!t together. He makes us both a coffee and i reflect on a near miss

 

@Lone Skeleton Not many can do this alone. Since you have a community here and others, as I said keep checking in. It will always help you including everyone to beat this PMO ring.

@Gallade_Templar If peeking on cartoon porn was intentionally then that is a reset even though you didn't M or MO.

I didn't want to bring this up again. I was laughing about this to myself because this is surprisingly new to me hearing this and Gallade_Templar brought it up. I will say this once more.

Since @Ready to Stop mentioned this in his recent relapse, let's establish this right now cartoon porn is still the same as real porn. Not a P-sub, it is porn. If that were the case, I would have been doing this as a substitute then. It will still get you to MO in the end and most likely PMO if into that animated porn. So in the past when I was still doing PMO, I would simultaneously use hentai/cartoon P in another window on my computer (Still the same thing. Not so much on cartoon porn but in the past I did) & real porn during my PMO sessions. Depending on my mood and how I felt for that day.

This is what I am saying. Try to refrain from saying words and sites because it seem Gallade_Templar decided to search or maybe peek on cartoon P (Unsure if it was intentionally or not). Not a good idea especially for me and now possibly others. Keep it minimum (Be vague if possible) or put spoilers if you can.

Come on fellowship, you know better.

 

I agree with this. My near miss yesterday was looking at FB page for a local bar/club, where they upload dozens of pictures of folk partying from the weekend. I used to scan these on occasion and try to find girls I think I would try and hook up with and have a little fantasy time to myself, sometimes ending up MO with just that or sometimes graduating to harder stuff.
Point is for me I’m classing that as P because of how I used it in the past. So if i was to even start scrolling through that stuff looking for chicks I’m personally gonna count that as a slip and a reset.
On the other hand I’m doing a lot of yoga, and have been for a few months. Using YouTube videos and a Matt at home. There’s a popular female yoga instructor who is very attractive, and you can imagine how a yoga video could be triggering. However never done MO to one of her vids, or any yoga vid. And when I’m doing yoga I’m trying to train my brain as much as my body to focus on the exercise and not on other things. If I was to fall off the wagon on watching a yoga video then I’d need to change my approach. But for now I’ve been able to not do that and I see this as part of my training of rebooting my brain into seeing women differently and not being hyper sexual all the time. But it’ll take time

just my thoughts. Everyone knows what P subs they’re using and if your being honest with yourself you need to quit it.

 

Day 1 - Hobbit, The Shire

No temptations yet whatsoever. Experiencing high levels of stress due to work and relationship atm but i must stand strong

 

Day 426

Welcome!

 

Checking in Fellowship Friends!

84 Days Free of PMO.

The last few days have been stressful, but I have managed them with success. Only 1 urge surfaced during those days and I can call out it with ease, although my guard remains vigilant as the temptation demon never sleeps. I have been very productive over the last few days, for that I am grateful.

I had two moments of sadness yesterday, one upon hearing @RiseToGreatness leaving and the other regarding a work related matter. I did not run from these feelings, I sat down with them, observed them and forged a solid conclusion/solution for both. This is growth. This is part of all our journeys, to forgo numbing ourselves from discomfort and any emotion that we consider unpleasant. Do not resist those emotions as they will just bottle up and become fiercer. Do not shame yourself for feeling them either, as this is where the temptation demon will strike, it is okay to be angry/sad/anxious, these are all akin to the human condition. Aim to understand why these arise and change what is in your capacity.

Today I plan my regular routine, meditation, exposure, workout, reading and work.

@RiseToGreatness My brother, I am saddened by you leaving but I know your decision is shaped by wisdom. You need to focus on yourself first, before you can help others. We all respect you greatly, you created such a wonderful community and this fellowship, to me anyway, goes far beyond just PMO recovery. We are all men who striving to improve our life. This is something that you created, keep that with you at all times. We will be with you in spirit on your journey. I am forever grateful to you for what you have done for us. My friend, I hope that I am worthy of this and I will do my best as you have for so long. This is only temporary, as I know that you will return to us stronger than ever before.

As Gandalf once said to Aragorn "Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east". I will await that day my brother, as we all will.

Now, go battle your Balrog and return victorious!

Stay Strong!


@Lone Skeleton Rise again brother, the important factor is to analyze what lead you to relapse and develop a counter measure. Do not give up.

@Gallade_Templar The intent is what matters, if you searched it up knowingly within a few minutes of consumption and pulled away. You may keep your streak, in accordance to the challenge and the rules that @RiseToGreatness advised me of. If you lingered for longer than that, then it would be a reset. If you accidentally came across this and pulled away, then well done. What I would advise is to revisit what lead you to that, there was a trigger there that needs to be addressed.

I am personally harder on myself for this, if I search with intention I would reset. Because I know that I would spark the same neuropathway and this may lead me to a full blown relapse if I do not address the underlining issue.

@Repression Welcome to the fellowship friend!

@kaerhal @SSS Vision @Slider8 As the above for @RiseToGreatness , be well brothers, take your time and alleviate whatever needs to be alleviated. The fellowship will always be here awaiting and welcoming with open arms.

 

I know brother, you can defeat PMO forces. you controlled our army and we have won lot of victories . When I joined the NoFap , I followed a lot of guys in this challenge like you. You everyday gave us some important information . Thanks brother. I will wait challenge untill your arrival.

 

Day 160

 

check in fellowship!!!

 

Day 8 - Gildor Inglorion, an Elf, crosses your path causing a Nazgûl that was chasing you to flee. You stay the night with his company of Elves talking about your struggles with PMO. "Courage is found in unlikely places" he says. He gives you an Hithlain rope, a magical rope, light and flexible, yet extremely strong.
Quest Item – Hithlain rope


This is a long one.
I think my anger is kindled from two challenges here and another. Maybe my anger symptoms is kicking in since I am on Semen retention/No PMO streak.

I love it when I am fired up. Makes want to fight harder against these PMO forces.

I feel a bit urges but able to avoid them. I went to gym earlier today and so not much temptation that was around as far as women present. Surprisingly to be honest. Keeping an eye out though.

Btw I am trying to do cold showers but I can't fully do them all at once. This is hard but this is what I'm trying to do lessen the urges as well. You guys who do them fully are insane. It's getting colder here since this October now. Eventually it will be winter time so taking cold showers will be more difficult.

Stronger by the day.

@Kairose and @Gallade_Templar conversation.
Gallade_Templar & Kairose "Autopilot" conversation
Lastly, I will give it a benefit of a doubt it was unintentionally so you can keep your streak. But that is up for Redemptionisrequired. I was trying to understand what Kairose and Gallarde_Templar talking about using "Autopilot". Now I think I understood what they were talking. That basically using this as a type of complacency thinking and doing the same thing every day means everything is good once you go through your day. You don't have to worry about nothing and your P blockers are set in place. But what if it bugs? Just as @LuckyMan said earlier. If it does, how are you going to deal with medium to strong urges since the wall has broken down for that day? IMO once it's gone, of course you will search it because of your addictive mind then you will go there (P site). So there you go it's a relapse. This is for everyone, are you going blame the P blocker because it bugged out one day? I'm just saying. Something to think about. You need to deal with that on your own. How to deal with? I don't know, maybe take a cold shower or doing some body weight exercises like push ups or if you didn't go to the gym, then go workout! Kairose probably can advise if you ask him since he is a longer streak and he is doing something right.

Thank you and it's fine if your watching Yoga for the practice of itself but if it is with the intention to trigger yourself then now that is a P-sub.
And I like your two lies that you say to yourself post. You know what I mean.

Again, you need to check in every day. It's for you not me. Because if your not checking for a while then I am assuming you have relapsed besides being busy.

Fine, just say Day "" and that's it. Don't say anything. Keep coming back if your serious and want this freedom. That's it.

Btw before I leave it be for now, I'm deep down depressed here and that in one of the factors why I choose not to PMO. Anger can also be there to help as well because if I am angry enough then that is keeping me from PMO. I know I can do this. I am serious than ever. One thing is to say this hard mode. No M and no MO that includes sex with O. If you can't comply with these rule then that is a reset every time. Something, I don't understand why people that are in relationships/married are getting into these challenges. Again this is Hard mode. For me, I made a mistake because I still need to fix small issues for my situation regarding this NoFap lifestyle. But I'm here now I am going to do my best to comply with all the rules including my issues with P-subs which is getting better. Again, I never been to an SAA but this sure feels like it over here. There is probably more to say but I will leave it for now.

Come on fellowship brothers! Get it together, you can do this!!

@Redemptionisrequired looking forward for you to lead this thread my friend and fellowship brother. I hope you set the boundaries (rules) as well. I will be here and do my best and if not go all the way to end. Hopefully you will get there too in the future. I need the recovery for a longer streak and I am glad to see your succeeding. So I am staying here for a while and if not long term. We will see and as I said I will do my best to get to the ranks. Too bad High-King rank is still 5 days.

These Nazgul missed. Keep on going Fellowship!

 

Day 7

 

Day 60!

 

I was away from home and I got tempted and triggered and some issues with other persons ... but I didn't fight against the evil forces and so I relapsed and started to download porn. Since it was quite a stash that took a while to collect, I couldn't get it over me to delete it right away. And so I continued to pmo in the next days (using the downloaded vids). Today I pmo'd the last time with the stash and then finally pushed the delete button.

:/

 

Thank you!
Day 426... Much respect!