Ok, things are getting wierd for me here.

I can relate. You go to a site that is supposed to help, but it brings a lot of the things you are trying to avoid up to the forefront of your mind.

 

I’ve noticed browsing here for a long duration or high frequency has its downsides.

You know that saying “try not to think of an elephant, and you do”? Well, trying to forget about porn while reading and writing about porn can be like going around in circles.

I think this place is great to learn the basics, stay accountable, help others, and hopefully post a story of recovery.

Once recovered we might leave it behind. But in the meantime, some of us may benefit from more practical recovery offline with limited theorising for recovery online.

 

I believe it's definitely possible to be triggered by browsing this forum. Whether or not it's become a "porn substitute" is up for you to decide. Perhaps it could be a good idea to counter your urges with something else than going to this forum just try to it. It's about doing something different if the initial action doesn't work.

I remember initially getting triggered by reading other people's stories or watching videos by recovery coaches. It took me quite some time before those things didn't trigger me anymore and I could use them as resources. It was truly frustrating!

I'm curious. Now it's been two weeks since your post. How do you feel about accessing this forum now?

 

When I get naked to pmo or edge I get a boner

 

Are you particularly looking for posts that would activate an urge? Perhaps you are doing that subconsciously.

 

I spend time away from here a lot as seeing these sorts of posts keep the issue in my mind too much.

it’s a good idea to behave as though there is no addiction. By coming on here you are sub consciously saying the opposite, hence why it is a good idea to spend time away from the forum

 

Yea but there is also good things about this website. The panic button for example has helped me in the past. And some people like seeing that there are others like them out there.

 

I should of worded that last reply better.

I agree with you about the above, but sometimes if you spend too much time here it can have the opposite effect (well for me anyway). So I’ll take a break until my mind clears and then come back again

 

Yea that is true. Perhaps it is good to limit yourself. Once a day to just check in should be fine

 

Hey man, I checked to make sure on the age of this thread and post to see where you’re at right now. In a different thread you reported continuous resets for most of October so far. That’s a tough, discouraging spot to be in. You felt like you were getting a handle on it, but your methods seem to not be working any longer and it’s slipping out of control.

All this shows you are tough, smart, and committed. Maybe even stubborn, which isn’t a bad thing. Since then you’ve been having a rough time and you might be wondering if this whole thing is worth it, or even possible. I can tell you from experience it’s both. I don’t know what your precise situation is, how severe your addiction is or what you hope to gain from beating it, but I can tell you the degree of pain you feel and the difficulty in quitting is a great indicator of how bad it’s messing with your life. If you keep using PMO to deal with distress, you aren’t going to confront and solve the triggering problems. After a decade of numbing yourself instead of solving problems, they’re going to get more numerous and worse, and your only solution is going to be to numb yourself some more. If left unattended, it’s going to grow worse.

In point of fact, I think this is why you were experiencing urges when visiting the forum. Just being here and seeing other people confronting the PMO problem reminds us that we have a PMO problem, and our default coping mechanism to distressing problems is to PMO. See here

It’s not a porn sub, but you did a great job tracing back your behavior and timing, and linked this forum with a trigger. That’s a subtle trick, not everyone catches that but you did. Distress is the trigger. A sub would be something you use to soothe yourself instead of dealing with the problem.

You reported the forum is no longer a strong trigger, so that’s good. On the other hand, you’ve struggled more since that report. I’m just another guy in the trenches, but from my perspective it seems like you’ve been white-knuckling it. That can work for a while, but as you’ve experienced, it wears you out & breaks you down. Your will is strong, I’m not saying otherwise, but if you’re going to defeat this you’re going to have to bring your intellect into the problem as well. You have been doing that as well, again, you’re clearly a smart guy. I just don’t want you to remain stalled in this cycle where you want to move forward but you’re stalled and you don’t know why or how to break out.

Before you do anything else, take a moment to acknowledge what you’ve done and what you’re capable of. You are not the kind of turd who floats with the current, wherever life takes you. You choose a better path for yourself, and the urges you experience are life trying to push you back in line. You’ve already proved you have the determination and raw strength to succeed. Now is the time to learn how to accurately apply that strength. When an urge hits, the best question is, what are you distressed about? Then, instead of turning to PMO to distract yourself and avoid it, and instead of treating PMO as the original problem and muscling through it, or even finding a different distraction or escape from that problem, once you identify your source of distress you can make a choice on how to deal with it. Just knowing the real problem is sometimes enough to make the urge disappear.

Sometimes the problem is with school or work or family or you’ve got one more problem that Jay-Z’s 99. Sometimes it’s as simple as being sick or a bout of insomnia. Sometimes there’s nothing to be done but power through, but sometimes you can think it through and come up with a plan to fix it. That should take care of your urge.

I didn’t mean to write a manifesto at you, I apologize for that. Hopefully you can get back into a rhythm. Hope to see you around.

 

for me, coming to this forum helps cause not only i can relate my numerous problems with many people here, the success and horror stories both keeps me motivated to fight against this evil. For some people this might be opposite so it better to stay away to avoid triggers or only try to read horror stories