I read this short book called Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking and it was super helpful in helping me understand that I never needed what my brain was telling me I needed. It was a hack book or something so it was used to help people quit fapping forever and I can say it helped me so much. Dapping never made me happier, it never solved a single problem in my life, and the panic feeling would never go away as long as I continued doing what I was doing. The absolute truth of the matter is that 90 days is not some magical amount of time that makes you all better. You can be all better today. And you can celebrate being free starting today.
This book changed my life. 90 days isn’t some magical day where once you get there you’re free. This book helped me realize that I don’t have to wait to be free. I can be free right now and I am free right now. You’re an ex-fapper the moment you realize it never did anything for you. It never helped you get through any of your problems and you never needed it to feel better. I’m almost 2 years clean and I used to get set back all the time. I celebrate 2 years clean in December but I also celebrate every single day
Someone on here sent this to me and I’d like to repay the favor to the next person struggling out there. I’m a terrible reader but this book was such a breeze
This book changed my life. I used to struggle through each day on my way to 90 and most of the time I wouldn’t get close. The truth is 90 isn’t some magical day that makes all the temptation go away. You don’t have to wait till 90 days to be free from PMO. You can be free right now and you can live your dream life to the fullest right now! PMO never did anything for you. There is no illusion about it anymore. It never made me feel better. It never solved a single problem for you. You can walk away weightless because you never needed PMO to begin with. I’m 2 years clean this December but I don’t look at it that way. Because I know I don’t need it. I’m just PMO free
It seems being busy and in the public is the best defense against PMO. PMO comes when: 1. I can hide my usage 2. I have nothing more rewarding to do 3. When I have the energy for it 4. I don't have/think of alternatives such as real sex. Once I have something to do and I relieve my energy somewhere else like in the gym or at work and when there is no opportunity to hide it and when I have something urgent to do like a deadline, then PMO cannot force itself in. I had not enjoyed sex with my wife so much in a very long time as I did for two nights straight very recently. And: numbers don't matter, this is an every-day fight
It was more of a combination of both. Seeing as I can't totally get rid of my mobile phone as it's important for work I've taken a step to Uninstall and block certain social media apps that act as Trojan horses in tempting me to PMO. Anyways. I'm on day 2 now. I really hope to make it to day 30 this time around and then 90 eventually. Thanks for looking out man!
If you end up taking a look at the boom I posted, it may help you see that it doesn’t have to be an every day “fight.” My strategy used to be just work out until I’m too exhausted to PMO. That only worked for me for so long and I was tired of being so tired. Also it made it so I couldn’t enjoy any alone/relaxation time. The biggest point is when you quit, you aren’t missing out on anything. PMO isn’t something that adds to your life in any way. It is not “giving up” a treat and there is no reason to miss it because it never did anything for you anyways. It was never a benefit and you aren’t missing out on anything by quitting
Less free time means less time with chance to act on thoughts of porn, but you will not be able to get rid of all your free time forever so if you rely purely on this its only a matter of time. You need to prevent the thoughts altogther. We can train our mind and i know you can. We can win this. Thank you. Too long have a defiled that, with His help i know i can stop and you can too. I do celebrate. I am so glad with how far i have come and i know i will never fall again. 90 days isnt some number that i rekon i will be free after, but rather it is a goal i can work towards, a point i can pass where in a way i am undoing and smashing all those faulty records i had previously that i approached with the wrong attitude. Thank you for the book suggestion as well, i have already read that one and it is good. If you want a great one to read as well i recommend confessions of a sinner by Augustine. a beautiful book. I have gotten month long streaks super easily by spending long periods of time in close proximity with other people such that i never get urges but this only lasts as long as these facts hold true. Don't let the PMO in regardless. Im glad you are able to have sex with your wife again. Dont let it become a substitute for porn but rather an outworking of the healing from porn. Any way it goes, im so glad to be working on our journeys together and i want to thank you for joining me so consistently for it.
Oops, i missed this one sorry. My life has been so much easier since i have no social media whatsoever. i recommend deleting your accounts on all of these platforms. Some of them still allow you to continue with the messaging side with the account de-activated. And dont trust the seemingly innocuous ones. They are just more deceptive. You dont hope you Will. We will together.
Feeling great today. 2 days down and day 3 is almost over. I am feeling really good so far. Doing a better job of controlling my thoughts. Definitely taking the social media deletion advise. It regularly causes me to stumble.
Yeah it was a big source of temptation for me as well. Glad to hear the control of your thoughts Its been 27 days. The last few days have sailed past quickly but last night i had a dream that i slipped. I fought it in my dream and it didnt lead to night emission but it looks like i'll have to control my thoughts more.
I'm restarting my journey today. Day 1, I slipped yesterday. Shouldn't have had sex so early in my abstinence.
Day 4 is nearly over. It was a good Lord’s day and he was gracious and gave me strength today. I see people with 20+ days and it feels impossible but I will keep fighting. I haven’t been there in so long. I know the next three days will be really hard but then I get three days in the woods camping with little to no opportunity to slip up. We are never out of the fight. Keep it up!
Alright so you have 27 days on hard mode, which means that you are almost out of the woods. My experience has been that when you get to about day 30, the urges are a lot weaker and/or more controllable, and it's easier to get to 90. So strange. It's harder to get from day 1 to 30, than any length of time past day 30. Even if you did a year! But the big secret to it all is just to make the decision every day, to make it through that whole 24 hour period. When the urges are upon me, I am willing to let it die. Because it's just this one demon I have to slay, just survive this one hurdle. Just make it through today.
i respect the honesty. If you haven't told your wife about your goals and semen retention maybe let her know. No-one on this site counts it as a relapse and neither is it really counted as a reset, but i dont really like when it happens as it feels i am letting my mind run loose and i start seeking it out. Im glad you could enjoy the Lord's day having some rest is so helpful in our efforts. Dont fill your head with how hard it is going to be, just take it one day at a time. You arent tryint to avoid porn forever all at the same time but just avoid it for that day for each day. You can do it! Stay accountable like you have been doing so well and focus on the mind and you will be on the right path. Thanks for the encouragement. Im goint to keep going and not let down my defenses as though im not going to get urges anymore as last time i did that at this point i failed. But it may mean the attacks are weaker so im looking forward to it. One day at a time. Together we can kill this demon in our lives. I would love to have you. Awesome to still see you, that is the first milestone after one day and it can often be the hardest, Next, one week!
Hey @Henry V, Thank you for creating this thread to share your Journey. I'd love to hop on and join in! I am at day two. The most time I've put together was like 3-4 months. A series of poor nights sleep and upset ended that streak. Yesterday I noticed the strange back-of-mind thoughts I get before a relapse. When a part of me seems to already have decided that it's going to happen, and before I know it I have no control of what my body is doing. I can only watch it happen. Fortunately nothing came out of it (yet). I've reflected that I am not doing enough. Wishing that the problem will be removed and trying it alone has not worked. I need to be more proactive to change how my mind works. I look forward to posting with you and celebrating everyone's successes! Thanks
