I was at the gym this morning, feeling amped about everything, and later this morning, I fell and browsed porn, jacked off and now I'm just sitting here, frustrated and agitated with my actions. In my mind, I see myself improving, but also relapsing simultaneously. I have a consistent gym routine, wake up time, healthy eating, I'm reading actual books, but lately it has felt like I am drifting back into the old comfort zone of YouTube videos, porn and bad eating. As the filthy frank meme goes, "It's time to STOP!" I need to grab the reigns, hoist my fat ass up back on the horse and just keep riding. I know that it isn't the best of methods, but I see it as the only major option for me that might just work. Starting today, right now, I'm done with porn for good. I'm done jacking off and orgasming with no purpose or reason. I need to push hard against the bad, to the point where it looks so ugly, I want to nearly vomit at even the though. If I need to go to the gym twice a day, I will (one time for strength, the second strictly cardio). If I need to keep my phone out of reach, I will do what it takes. My family says I am mad enough to do certain things (waking up at 4am is mad to them apparently). I need to force myself out of the house to the point where it is where I sleep and only that.
Keep that attitude up. This shit is not easy to quit when it’s been apart of your life for so long. Remember why you’re doing this. Use that “why” to push yourself for improvement in ALL aspects of your life. It seems like you’re already doing that at the gym. I’ve found that working towards additional goals during nofap has kept me more accountable and driven to continue. Some of my other goals include: 1) No drinking on weekends 2) Go lift 4x a week 3) Learn new skills (currently learning to weld) 4) Apply myself harder in school 5) Quit eating fast food I have more goals that are more specific to me, but these are the most widely applicable for anyone. I’ve been trying to stick to my goals since November 1st and I feel amazing. I feel healthier, more energized, less stressed, and more motivated than I’ve felt in years. I believe in you brother. Stick with it, we’ve all got your back.
Heck yeah brother! Got to get things back on track and back to that flow state of what I was before tripping up! 4 times a week to the gym, nice!
