There's a first for everything.

Ive never told a human soul about my addiction and i do now anonymously, i have had long streaks and shorts streaks for my whole life but ive always had this problem.

i am attempting to go for 14 days and journal any progress on here.
i hope if anyone does tag along that we support, overcome and triumph together in our journeys to becoming better Humans.

WHO'S WITH ME?!!!!

 

Day 1 no urges and spent some hours away from internet

 

thank you for the support honestendeavour

 

Thank you WasItWorthwhile

 

Day 2 No urges yet and watched the World cup with my brother. Feeling good

 

Day 3 Still no urges suprisingly and spent time with friends watching the World cup.

 

I'm supporting a lot of teams to be honest, like Senegal, Japan and Morrocco. It's too difficult to say who's going to win.
What about you honestendeavour, who are you supporting?

 

Day 4 very strange that I still don't have urges but I'm not complaining about it. I watched LOTR return of the king, it was alright.

 

Day 5 Very small urges but the pornographic thoughts are increasing in frequency. I'm dealing woth it by just stop thinking about it and instead focus my thoughts on something else, kinda working.
Watched a bit of the world cup and finished a book (the porn trap by Wendy Maltz)

 

Relapsed. I can already feel the ill effects, headache, lack of thinking and already forgetting things.
I was on my email when I saw something from a dating site, kept on following it until I progressed to worser things.
What? When? Where? How? Alternatives?
Inappropriate emails, when i was alone, at home, kept on seeking for more stimulating things.
i should unsubsribe from all dating emails. Spend more time in public places (library) and try to control my internet useage by not connecting to Wifi unless needed
I didn't even feel any pleasure or desire, this is really an addiction

 

Day 1 didn't feel any urges travelled around and watched a few movies but no significant intrusive thoughts. I'm starting to become a but more afraid of interacting with people, I know for sure it's his porn habit.

 

Day 2 I was preoccupied with work and did a quick work out at home when i came back. No urges.
Day 3 I did another shift. No urges.

 

Day 4 No urges. Had a day off and went library

 

Day 5 a few urges throughout the day. Not productive tbh

 

Day 6 had urges in the morning then went on an inappropriate site. I then stopped myself. I did a technique I learnt from an addiction book where I talk to the part of myself who wants to watch and try to convince it not to watch porn.

 

Day 0 I relapsed. Started again with the same thing. Started from having urges, then went to Facebook then onto PMO.
I hate this cycle. I can literally feel myself becoming dumber immediately after I stop. This isn't the person I want to be, I'm not spending time doing the things i really want to do and spending time with the people I really care about.
I hope to God i can break this cycle.