New Fapstronaut here

Hi everybody,

I'm Lawson (completely fake name), and I'm a 26 YO man getting ready to go to law school in the fall. I've been watching porn since I was in middle school, pretty much every day with very few exceptions, and I've tried to quit a few times with little lasting success. My porn use has definitely increased since the pandemic began, usually twice a day but occasionally three times a day, usually totaling less than 45 minutes a day.

Why I'm quitting
- I hate being beholden to an addiction. I don't gamble, I don't use drugs, and while I drink, I've never had a problem controlling how much I drink or stopping myself from drinking. If it don't start taking this seriously it will only get worse, and while it's not the worst problem right now, I'm definitely at the edge of a much more significant problem
- I've tried to quit before, and have long realized my porn consumption is problematic behavior I should stop doing
- The porn industry is exploitative and tends to promote problematic attitudes towards women and sex that I have long been personally opposed to. I've tried to switch to "ethically produced porn" to try and justify my continued usage, but i always find myself coming back to the hub and other large producers of porn. This is a line I'm clearly not capable of walking, and I can no longer tolerate the internal hypocrisy between my personal views on gender and the clear realities of the porn industry
- I don't need. I'm a tall man who has really glown up over the past few years as I've grown into my body and become much more self confident, and as a result I receive a lot more attention from women than when I started watching porn, but yet my porn addiction is always something lurking in the back of my mind whenever I'm talking to a girl. I'm trying to find a partner who can meet my needs emotionally, intellectually, and physically, and I feel my addiction has often led me towards women who are only really interested in me sexually, and not interested in an emotionally fulfilling relationship.

Why I came to NoFap
- Accountability. Like I said above, I've tried quitting before to no success, and I think it was because I failed to (a) have a formal structure and goal in mind and (b) didn't have a network to hold me accountable and support me. Talking about a porn addiction is hard, and in some ways I feel like it would be easier to ask for help with a drug or alcohol problem, even if those are often significantly more destructive vices. I feel too much shame to ask my friends or parents (who i live with while getting ready for law school and have a great relationship with) for help.

My Goals
- Cut porn of my life. Forever. This is clearly a vice I'm not capable of using to moderation, and I hate the grip it has on my life, even if the negative effects haven't manifested themselves as significantly as they could. yet.