This was way out of my comfort zone. I also have bad social anxiety, but I had to do this because it was annoying and consumed my thoughts. And now at least I will get closure. I am undecided on whether I will still put as much effort into the friendship if I get rejected (probably won't reply as quickly and focus on branching myself out to find other friends). If she says yes, then I will be very happy obviously. But I guess I do feel sort of relieved that I managed to do something like this.
All my best moments happened when I was outside the comfort zone. And even if you fail, you can learn something from it in order to try again.
Her reply: I respect the fact that you just went for it. It says a lot about you. In reality I am shitting bricks.
It sounds like a stuck up way of saying no. I've had it happen before and it's really nota cliché way of getting an answer.
It was a standard "you're a nice guy but I don't think I'm GF material and I don't wanna drag you down but we can continue talking and you never know what happens" rejection. She took a few hours to reply and it seems she thought I wasn't serious about the asking out at first.
yeah you never know... i'm proud of you for doing what you did. i hope you don't overinterpret her reaction. maybe there isn't much than what she said? maybe there is. who knows? her loss. you are both full of "snakes" so you'll have more time to get yours under control until a bit of your energy is taken by a relationship and the bad habits do their job... a hard earned lesson for me was that i don't want to destroy a friendship because of lust. so maybe she is a great person, make sure you can appreciate each other in 20 years... until then you're free let the door open, take chances, someone great my come! like i said i'm proud of you.
That reminds me of the first time I told the girl I liked (face to face) that I liked her. Same feeling as you, pure relief. And at that point I didn't even care about what the answer was. What I don't like is her answer. Experience tells me that in these matters the clearest the words, the least hurtful. If it's a no, it's a no. Don't go blabbing around.
Agree, but she might not know this and thinks this is the kindest way to reject him. Anyway, you can be a proud man for getting out of your comfortzone! Onto the next one mate, crushes are meant to crush your feelings, but it also builds a shield of resistance for the next rejections. I used to cold approach regularly and you never get fully used to it, but atleast you stop caring about the rejections and start focusing more on the times when you do get her number
To the OP, good job! Almost every guy has done this at some point in his dating history, to the point that it's almost a rite of passage. One of the world's most famous novels, "The Sorrows of Young Werther", is even about this topic. There are a ton of things to learn from the experience, on the topics of friendship, maturity, and self-respect, just to name a few. Congrats, you're on your way.
Good on you for asking her out. I completely agree that you now get closure and know how she feels. I was in the same situation, asked my crush out, but she said yes, and went out on one date with her. It did not work out with her, but it was a relief to know instead of wondering about her all the time. And the best part is now you know, it's really not that bad and will feel more comfortable and confident next time.
That is crystal clear no. Its a woman language: When you ask her out and she reply maybe, later, we will see or any other deflecting reply like above it always means 100% no. When she reply yes it is about 80% yes. When she reply hell yes (or any other exaggerated or excited yes) it is 100% yes. Anything else is no, and no point sticking around.
Don't focus on the outcome. Instead pat yourself on the back for taking action. Remember that you are an unique individual and there is a pool of amazing women out there waiting to be tapped. Don't fixate yourself behind one girl and hang around her waiting for an eternity.
