All out

Hello people I have been battling porn addiction for years now. You know that feeling where you want to rub one out to cater for being depressed? Well that's me. Life is at standstill, I am 30, jobless and sick plus I dropped out of my postgraduate program. Please I need the support. I believe that if I conquer this I will have a better philosophy of life. Yesterday I cried because everything seems messed up now. I trust it will be well once I conquer it .

 

I was part of this before but I dropped off.

 

Thanks for the advice bro

 

I believe I started PMO as a teenager . Around 13 I think. It started when I was mostly on my own since my siblings had moved from home and I had a room to myself. I didn't get to socialize that much at that age , I'm still a reserved person. I don't know if I can attribute my urges to sexual encounters I had as a child because I knew about sex before I even realized I did. I noticed I did not really desire girls the way oy peers did when I was in secondary school. To me PMO was just for pleasure but you notice you have a problem when you resort to it as a sleep inducing mechanism. I don't know if it's the reason I don't crave to be in relationships that much as compared to peers. You know you have issues when you try to stop and notice you cant. Plus the internet and health experts talk about its benefit neglecting the addictive and depressing aspect of PMO. Sometimes i can stay a week or two without PMO but when the urges come i justify myself with the advice of health experts and resort to PMO. I have decided to start all over by learning, finding a job and basically living. Plus i am in a relationship now and i feel the urge to work harder on all aspects of my life including conquering my addictions

 

You are welcome. I want a change now so I'm all in this time

 

Yesterday I was able to sleep without resorting to PMO. I had errands to run during the day which I guess helped induce my sleep. One major issue I have is with acid reflux(from an ulcer)which leads to my anxiety. The anxiety sometimes pushes me to PMO. Once I get the remedy I think it will help change my habits. I am not working at the moment and that gives me a lot of alone time as well.

P.s. Im from. Ghana I hope my words are not quite off

 

Postgraduate studies was a financial burden on me. I had no support so I had to cater for everything. I worked with a food delivery service before school but i had to relocate for my education so I had to resign. I'm still looking for a permanent job. I do get odd jobs to do though.

 

Thank you bro

 

Last night was h*ll. I almost lost my streak. I am almost a week through but the tempation of going back on Instagram got to me over the weekend. Girlfriend loves these sex convos and the discussion just made me go hard. She doesn't live with me and we haven't started getting intimate but it seems its the kind of convo she takes interest in the most. She thinks that's all guys talk about due to her kind of male friends. Should I tell her I can't talk like that for the time being ? I think it's too early. She doesn't know I'm working on my addiction. Any opinions?