Today is day 12 without porn and already I'm starting to feel much clearer in my head. Its been easy so far I guess, I tend to go into a flat line immediately into the streak, but the urges come again after about two weeks. My main problem is peeking. Two weeks away from porn I know how toxic it is and how much better my life can be without it. Only I keep peeking at pictures and this is a slippery slope. I spent hours looking at soft-core photos, because I have convinced myself that these images are okay because its not considered porn. It can very quickly lead to porn and often times it does. I don't know how to stop this? It just seems so harmless compared to actually going on a porn site, but I waste so much time and It makes it much harder to stay away from actual porn. Any advise on peeking? Thanks
It is just a substitute. Only its much easier to rationalise using it. I have no social media and recently I have deleted Pinterest which has been a huge trigger for me. Its been a huge help so far.
You already understand the problem. Peeking at Psubs or only skirting the edges of porn are slippery slopes. These will only make you rationalize looking at porn itself. You'll eventually stumble on the real thing when you keep searching the soft stuff. Once you slide into real porn, which will easily happen here, you'll be trapped. Porn, even in its softest forms, is all the same. You give it an inch, and it will take a mile. It is controlling you. This is not innocent or justifiable; it is only a gateway. Rather than diving straight into porn, you set yourself up for the fall you want to have. I know because I've done this many times myself.
All this happened last night. I did fined actually porn in the end and felt I must reset the counter. I know what I need to do now. I need to treat any peaking as a relapse even to P substitutes.
I recommend doing some exercise to distract your thoughts from peeking, though I'm not sure it will work for you.
As I told you, I know how this goes. I must admit that while I try to give advice here, I'm really a total fool. I'll do PMO, as I did very recently, and then go several days without even thinking of it. My last streak was about 12 days; I had no urges during that time. I'm stupid because I think that I'll never have urges again and that I'm somehow "cured." Then, Bam! The urges surge up. My mind is flooded with all those pictures that I want to see again. I can't just jump into a porn site because I do try to control myself. Because I want to stop looking at porn, I have inhibitions against it. So, I do exactly what you described. I'll do a search of pics of my favorite women with my search filter on. I'll see pics of them with their clothes on, or at least in bikinis. Then, I'll look at the similar related content of other women. Eventually, I'll hit on something overly stimulating, and that usually happens after I turn off my safe search to get closer to the edge. After so much of that, I'll just say "to hell with it." That is how porn deceives us. I myself must stop being so stupid as to think this will not happen again. Definitely, it will happen again. I must constantly be on my guard against that day. Even when I have no urges or interest in porn, I must be preparing myself to deal with that time and not lure myself into PMO.
This is why I've had to take on my addiction to lust and sexual fantasy and not just porn. If not I can always justify escalating a little bit more each time until I eventually hit hardcore porn. It's different stages along the same undesirable behavior. It's difficult because the sexual fantasy and memories are always available and enter your mind on their own, but I think eventually if we don't follow through on them our brain will learn that there's no reward to associate with them.
You put it well, I can go 10-15 days without thinking about it, feeling miraculously cured, them bam! All of a sudden I want it. I do control myself to a certain point and just search for girls in bikinis or models on Pinterest, only it always fires me up and that streak is bound to end in a few days. Porn is very deceiving, I see that now. It's definitely about being on guard, only my guard has no weapons, the cold showers and exercise meathods don't work for me because I do these things for fun. Deep down I know that it is really quite simple, just be with it and ride the cravings till they drop. It seems so easy to say but in reality I wish to be so simple about it. The lengths I have gone to stop this habit are astronomical. So much waisted time. All that said, I feel I'm getting closer. It's been a while since I have fallen into the pit as I call it. Basically a very deep binge were I actually feel and look very unwell. People comment and ask if I'm okay. That kind of pit. Now if I catch myself using I just finish quick and leave it. My exposure time is very short and Im happy about this. Feeling so much more attentive to life again. You're no fool, sometimes our own advise helps others but not ourselves.
"Soft-core" is short for soft-core porn. It's such a trap man. I just heard something on Instagram that struck me: perfect moderation is useless for addicts – something like that anyway lol. Abstinence is the only way for us. If you have an addiction, how on earth is peeking at a watered-down version of the addiction gonna help you get over it? It's just keeping you stuck and slowing your progression.
Try saying that to my subconscious mind, its a real stubborn ass. But talking about it has been good. I'm starting to look at it a bit more closely. I'm ready to kill this thing now.
Haha I know. Mate, I was edging in the shower every morning for YEARS when I was doing "nofap" as long as I didn't O – I told myself this was ok and barely thought about it. It must have COOKED my brain. I stopped doing that 2 years ago and the 60 days that followed were wild. Out of this wild anxiety and mood swings.
That's why I believe it's probably the worst addiction nowdays I can think of. It's literally everywhere, social media, movies, tv shows, music videos, ads and video games...Being an addicted and going through wirthdrawal the first time or past them- you really feel like the guy taking of his glasses in John Carpenter's "They Live".
