Hi everyone, I have been struggling with masturbation a while and it has gotten me feeling very low about myself. It’s not really been porn induced although I have looked at some images but don’t generally go to that. I have struggled with body image and felt as a lesser man due to late development. I was bullied frequently in teenage years / uni for being underdeveloped and this has resulted in questioning gender identity and as a result over the years I have turned to masturbation as a way to stop the thoughts and stress they cause which in turn have caused guilt, shame and pain adding to the cycle of self-loathing. On days where I’ve not masturbated I have begun to feel better about myself but have struggled getting past 7-10 days in the past year and then ended up on a binge until I can get myself into a mini streak of no masturbation again. I am a Christian and wanting these thoughts from driving my actions reduced or got rid of, I really do want that more than anything right now. I want self-control. I want to like myself and not feel sad about my body or feel ashamed of my weight or size. I want to feel that I don’t need to be someone else to be loved or be attractive. I want to be a better husband and father rather than isolating myself too often, I don’t want to be afraid of any small negative words my wife or son say to me to devastate me or cause me to question things as I love them and care for them deeply. I am so sad at who I am at the moment. So if anyone is a Christian who can help get alongside me I would much appreciate it as I have been too afraid to seek accountability at church. I have chatted to and been a broken mess with a leader but they haven’t really followed up and I am afraid to say I still struggle.
Hey man, I started to masturbate at my 19. Now im 30 and father of two. Due to my newborn im unable to have sex with my wife and the constant stress with work/responsabilities/etc. caused such impact at me that im in a point where masturbation has become an addiction. You are really not alone and as a cristhian myself Who has grown on church i know exactly what you meant. In my case im starting to threat my condition as exactly that, so its on day ay a time. You know that the influence that we receive from ALL media its basically to make us stumble, so my advice its to fill our minds with the gospel, PRAY and for me particulary hang out with MALE friends who are not gonna push you to check on women or Talk about bodies/sex/crap has really been a game changer. I notest that the desire of masturbation has gone whenever i Talk or join with my buddies.
Thanks for sharing Nel. I am currently working through the steps to freedom by Dr. Neil Anderson and the in prayer and meditation God is revealing areas in my life where there has been hurt and need for forgiveness as I heal and recover from my bad habits. I am feeling more free each day as I hold onto God's truths about myself which strengthens me in dealing with thoughts and urges when they come. I am finding healthier outlets for needing to feel 'happy, accepted and loved' as well.
