Anyone know how to be happy?

Very short answer, to paraphrase Mark Manson, you find happiness by solving life's problems and getting slightly smaller slightly less shitty problems.

My early 20s were a mix of junk food, video games, and porn. I did self harm too. Took years to slowly fix one thing at a time, and still have a few areas to look at, but happiness is coming back. You can control this in the long run, rest assured!

I think it's about having a meaningful life/lifestyle that fits in with your values.

Do you want a big house and nice car? Or would you be happy with an okay house and second hand car, if it meant you could spend more time at home with your hobbies and family or friends?

That's just an example from the common 'rat race'. But I think we're all highly indoctrinated to want certain things from a young age, not knowing if they're really what we want.

Then there's trauma. This is a complex one but I might just leave this link here if you're interested to find out more about how early experiences can shape our adult life, and then our children, and so on. Healing Trauma in a Toxic Culture - with Dr. Gabor Maté | Know Thyself LIVE Podcast EP 33 - YouTube

A few books really helped me along the way, perhaps some may resonate with you too:

- Subtle art of how not to give a fuck (putting your energy into the right things, and much more)
- Models (also by Mark Manson, but this time he's just trying to get you a girlfriend)
- The happiness trap (this is the one that snapped me out of my depressed cycle in my 20s)
- Atomic habits (currently half way through this one and it's a game changer so far)

 

I believe happiness comes from being content with your life and what you have. I realized I desire a simple life; I wish to get married, have kids, have stability financially, and just be content with what I have.

 

Good times will come bro keep applying use indeed all day think positive

 

@BranchingOut no one can answer your question, if anyone answers you, they're fooling themselves and fooling you. As long as you have idea about happiness, all that opposite the idea is unhappiness. You can't have one without the other. Actually you don't want happiness but to escape the opposite(unhappiness) projected by the idea of happiness. If don't have any idea about happiness, you don't have unhappiness too.

 

Hello mate,

I am not very experienced with life but I will write my opinion on happiness. I was like you few months ago, always unhappy, unmotivated and lazy ( I am not trying to say that you are unmotivated or lazy, its me!). Back then I wanted to change my mindset but I could not because I didn't take action. I was very angry at myself and I didn't want to be angry at myself, so I took action forcefully, I started to meditate, exercising, trying to change my mind and reading books about stoicism. In the beginning I didn't want to do any of these but I forced myself to do and slowly I became less angry at myself and I started too see positive things in life, not only negative things. Start slowly and be consistent. You said that nobody accepts you, I don't want to be harsh but maybe it depends on you. You also said that you want to move from your parents house maybe because you have family problems but I cant know that but think this carefully. Try to look at life from different perspective.

You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. -Marcus Aurelius

I forgot to say that I was suicidal back then, I tried to cut my wrist but I could not cut deep enough. Suicide is not a answer!