Psychology of My Fetish

Bro, the cuck fetish is not a natural fetish. If this came about into through porn, I’m willing to bet you will lose it if you quit porn.

Do you really believe it’s natural to be attracted to the idea of your wife being taken advantage of right in front of you? Do you think if that actually happened you are going to sit there and be aroused by it? If yes, then you need to slap yourself in the face with some sense.

Porn can cause unnatural tastes through desensitization and escalation. You start to get off to things that are forbidden/taboo/wrong. If you quit porn and you stop reinforcing this conditioning to extreme stuff in porn, your brain will rebalance itself back out and your normal and natural tastes will return.

 

The psychological reason is: escalation.

Humanity is still studying the psychological effects of porn, but this much we do know: A habitual porn consumer eventually desensitizes to what they first watch, and when that happens, they have to escalate to something more...provocative, shocking, and sometime/often involving elements of violence and or degradation.

Everything we understand about the condition we name "porn addiction" can be explained in terms of evolutionary neuropsychology. Those are big words to chew on but it is really quite simple. In terms of evolution, the most successful species are those that mass produce. The most successful survival trait for any species is the ability to recreate itself, to reproduce in a fairly big way. I know, you are thinking, what does this have to do with porn--I am getting there. People seldom stop and ponder the question: "Why do I like sex?", but the answer to that question is; we get a nuerological reward for it; a dopamine high. Think of a dopamine has as nature's carrot to encourage reproduction. Over millions of years of evolution, evolution has resulted in our brains obtaining a reward from thinking about sex, then seeking for sex, then engaging in sex, then having an orgasm. That reward can be simply defined as a dopamine high. The thing about the dopamine high is that we get it from just thinking about sex, but our brains did not evolve in an environment with porn, and porn allows for thinking about sex many times more than we would think about sex without it. Porn may be the most efficient means of producing a dopamine high, because when we watch porn, we really really engage in thinking about sex. In those moments, watching porn, our brains are actually in the porn scenes we are watching, in a manner of speaking, and the brain, in those moments gives us a super dopamine rush for what it perceives, only somewhat correctly, as us engaging in an activity to be rewarded.

Now to escalation, which is a process not an event, and should be understood in terms of sensitization, desensitization, and escalation, with escalation being the inevitable result of the first two events happening, in terms of porn escalation. In sex, but especially in porn, having one sexual partner or one sexual thought, over and over again becomes somewhat boring. That is called desensitization. Picture a man on a desert island, stranded, with one porn DVD and a laptop. He is bored so he watches the video, and he thinks that video is GREAT, because it produces a significant dopamine reward, because thinking about sex does that, and porn is great at producing dopamine highs. That is called sensitization. But by a month into the stay on the island the video becomes boring. It no longer produces the extreme dopamine high it did in the first place, and may even cease to produce it at all. That is called desensitization. Porn addicts, however, are not on an island with one video. They have, via porn, an infinite amount of novel sexual thoughts they can produce via porn. So, many guys, and it usually guys, start out watching porn they see in what they consider their ideal sexual situation in, often what some call vanilla porn. It's still porn, but still fairly straight non challenging representations of sex. They are sensitized to that...for a while until they become desensitized to it, at which point they have to look for porn that is no longer vanilla, porn that contains, usually, somewhat shocking, often somewhat degrading, sometimes tending toward aggression, sometimes involving gender bender, porn. They have to do this because the brain no longer is giving them the dopamine high they initially got from vanilla porn. Given enough time watching HSIP (High Speed Internet Porn), and a guy will "move through the categories." What he started out with to get his dopamine high no longer gives it, meaning he has desensitized to it, and he has to move on to something more hard core. That is called escalation. He needs something more hardcore than what he started out with to get his dopamine high. He has escalated into a more hardcore type of porn, but, eventually, given enough serious porn consumption, he will desensitize to that, and will have to find something even more hardcore. For many guys who watch porn over time they "jump the tracks" and move into porn that is no where near the vanilla porn they first began with because that simply no longer works to give them a dopamine high. Understand, this has nothing to do with a user's actual sexuality; it is about using porn to achieve a brain reward, a dopamine high. For a number of those guys they jump the tracks into porn that in no way reflects what the porn user associates with their normal or desired sexual behavior, and some guys begin to consume gay porn to get the dopamine high, because straight porn does not work for them. Understand porn is not sex and this is no commentary one anyone's sex life; this is about using porn, like a tool, to achieve a result, the result being a dopamine high. When we think about porn addiction many focus on porn, but that is incorrect, a distraction; porn is just a means to an end. A dopamine high is at the core of all addictions, including what we call porn addition, but what the user is addicted to is not porn, not watching porn, but using porn to get that high. The high is what anyone is addicted to.

You have escalated "through the categories", having started with much milder porn, but when you desensitized to that, you moved onto something more hard core, desensitized to that, and after some significant time of porn consumption, have reached where you are. It must never be forgotten that porn is not sex, nor does it reflect a sexual preference. Porn is merely a tool, a button, one we push to achieve one thing and one thing only: a dopamine high. Porn must be considered not so much in terms of its content, but in terms of the fact that new and novel porn will be required to produce a dopamine high over time, as in months or years.

Why new or novel porn? Back to evolution. Somewhere in our history nature experimented with mammals having multiple sex partners. Why? I think the question was: Does having multiple partners, and spreading genes around, increase a successful survival trait? The question aside, this leads to a discussion of the "Coolidge Effect", which is the recorded fact that given the opportunity for goats, for instance, to breed with multiple new partners, they will have sex until they drop, whereas with only one, they will breed a lot at the beginning, but then slowly quit breeding so much. Why? Desensitization.

The cure for all problematic porn consumption is not quitting porn, per se, though it is, but the cure actually requires a prolonged period of not obtaining a dopamine high via porn. That is a very uncomfortable proposition for a porn addict because a dopamine high is like momentary euphoria, and no one likes to give up euphoria. But, for those identifying as having HOCD, and are uncomfortable with it, as you clearly are, you probably got there the same way most do: sensitization to something you felt was close to whatever sexuality you believe you are, desensitization to that category, escalating to more hardcore porn, desensitization to that, and over time, with that pattern repeating itself, finally finding that only a certain type of porn you consider very hardcore can produce the dopamine high that all porn addicts are chasing, and is in fact the ONLY reason anyone likes porn, meaning they do not really like porn, but they love the dopamine high it produces, more efficiently, actually, that actual sex itself. One cannot have sex all day, every day, for six hours a day, producing often multiple orgasms, for years, but you can do that with porn, and that is how the addiction to a dopamine high happens. If you are stuck alone on an island with one centerfold, you would be unable to become addicted to a dopamine high via that centerfold because you would desensitize to it and have no other means to escalate. But, HSIP is infinite, it offers endless opportunity to escalate, and escalation is inevitably required for a porn addict to get their dopamine high. That process can often take years, and will required moving through the categories to harder hardcore porn, but there it is. That is why many people not only want to quit being a porn addict, but have become uncomfortable with the porn category that has become required for them to achieve a dopamine high.

Hope this helps.

Much Love.

WilliamOneAndDone.

 

Ive had glimpses of this fetish before. I think it has something to do with insecurity. For me, Ive always been insecure about my dick size so sometimes I cant help but imagine how it would be like to be a powerful guy down there and just rail a chick. I sometimes imagine how amzing a girl could feel if that was the case and how i envy that guy. Its something to do with that and of course porn doesnt help. How could it? It just makes u feel more and more insecure.

 

Black guys tend to be more athletic than other races, white guys tend to be more athletic than asians, that's well known. White and asian girls tend to be more petite than black girls, also well known. The result is that many black guys like girls of other races better than their own, many asian girls like guys of other races better, and many white girls like black guys better. Surely not quite all, but the ones that choose mates primarily based on looks often do that. Based on this it's easy to see how imagining a guy of different race have sex with your wife/girlfriend can humiliate you -- either it's someone stronger and more desirable (black) and you're this incapable weakling, or it's someone weaker (asian) and you're even more useless. Also might stem from anxiety you aren't enough and your wife will cheat on you as a result, though that probably isn't your case if it's really some harm being done and not normal sex. Hope this helps (and nobody deletes it for being politically incorrect).