Today marks 9 months of abstinence from masturbation. And I'm extremely close to achieving a year without looking at porn (355 days). It's also been 598 days without sex. I am a single, 28 year old man. Thanks to this support group, I am attacking LUST at its core. I believe the only way I can heal is to remove myself from my PMO addiction AS WELL AS from sexual intercourse of any kind with women, for now. My reboot is taking a lot longer than 90 days. But i am willing to do what I believe it takes to heal 1 day at a time. However long it takes. I was a part of the 1st cohort of the NoFap Academy course. The material Mark and Alexander put together for us is a steal at the price they're offering it at. I highly suggest you guys get involved and take the course of you haven't already. I'm living the results. So, of course, you want to know the benefits of walking this path.. Well here it is: the confidence, the health, the energy, the clarity, the health, the good mood; they're all real. And the benefits are only 1/2 of the equation. The other 1/2 is what you lose; the feelings of failure, the depression, the guilt, the shame, the brain fog, the CYCLE of negative self-talk. As for the attraction from women...I've SENSED that too. Their bodies are designed for our seed. I believe they can sense a man with a strong seed. And how do you develop a strong seed? You don't waste it. You only use it when it's holistically worth it. With a REAL woman you love or want to love. This path is worth it. You slowly become a Jedi.
Sirfapstinence - I say my reboot is taking longer than 90 days because I still don't feel I am ready to return to a healthy relationship with masturbation. And definitely not porn. Both actually are what I am committed to NEVER participate in again. There is too many girls in this world for us to be touching ourselves and too many real sexual experiences to be had to be watching another guy do what we really want to do. We must continue to be refined. Good luck my friend
Did you avoid sex on purpose or didn't you have a choice? I think rewiring your brain to real sex is essential part of the healing process. Just reboot is not enough.
Atak - thanks for the question. I have not been in pursuit of sex during this time. So in a way, I have intentionally avoided it. However I don't believe I would turn down a hot naked lady saying "take me now," either. I have some religious reasons for practicing complete sexual abstinence as well as practical reasons. Also I've noticed through my past sexual experiences that sex comes with an emotional price that I am not willing to pay for right now (especially considering I don't have a special lady in my life). But to your point that "rewiring the brain to real sex is an essential part of the healing process"....why do you say this?
Congratulation. It is always inspiring to know one more soul has made it out. Good for you. I wish you and your future lady all the best.
Maybe I should do that program too. Do you still struggle with your urges at this point or is it a smooth sailing for you now?
Hi - and many congratulations on your progress! Do you think it is possible to have a "healthy relationship with masturbation"? I ask this because at 100 days + now no "O" I would dearly like to experience another "O" but fear that all progress would unravel. This is something I have decided to put on the back burner ( the return to sexual practices) I just wonder is it possible - say - to limit masturbation to once per month - or - if in a realtionship to never masturbate again?
I believe it is better to find real woman and O with her. The more you do it the better actually. If u self satisfy it would take your energy away and you will feel the negative effects of MO but maybe in a slightly diluted form. It might still keep you on your own because you do not experience this desperate need for a woman again. I suggest start having real life sex with someone you care about and leave the MO all together. When things are bad for us they remain harmful even if taken in smaller proportions.
Thank you so much for this HopeFaith. I am in fact married and in a great relationship - only we rarely have sex. My wife seems to enjoy it when we do it (perhaps once in every 2 or 3 months) but nevertheless is not really fussed about it and would never initiate. I have told her about my M and wanting to stop it but not about P which I have now cut out for a week (which is a record). I think you are right. I would like to stop MO altogether and P
Just go to you wife man That nofap works like magic and you will feel like a teenage man again. Your sex life will not be the same again after that, it will be much better. But it takes time and practice and learning to control your urges. I kind of wonder if your wife MOs in secret as I find it hard to believe she does not wants sex. I did not want sex at all for 20 years....why? I MO'd so my needs were met. Now I feel like opening by own brothel....the more the better! You have to stop the P too. Have you read any info about how it affects you? For me it is a roller coster ride with negatives and positives coming out. I am on my day 14 and I know I am never going back to MO. I do not have anybody available for the real life sex, but how I feel now without the MO if satisfying enough to keep me celibate. I just get different pleasure from so many people around......waves all over my body. Do it for a month and see what happens. But hold on tight as it is a mega honey and panful ride at the start with depression and loneliness and all the other negative stuff hitting at you. But Man, I have never felt more alive!
Thank you Hope Faith I will continue my hard mode at least for Month of November and probably through to January - if I can manage November I am pretty sure my wife does not MO - she knows I am always available and she tells me she just does not get horny as such. In hard mode I think it will be ok to cuddle her.
I'm glad you mentioned self-talk man. It's way more powerful than people usually think. I personally know someone who had depression and psychosis and he'd almost always be saying horrible things about his life and other people. When he seemed healthy (we were great friends) I almost never heard him sigh or talk to himself. In fact he used to get on me about doing it. He really was a smart and popular guy. I'm not sure what happened to my bro.
The lose part: Cycle of Negative Self-Talk is gone. Great job for pointing this out, it happened to me too but I couldn't realize it until I have read your post here. Thanks buddy.
