So many urges.. what to do?

Hi there.

I'm not sure how far into this journey you are, but it's natural to feel many urges, especially in the first weeks (up to a month for me). My advice would always be to be patient.

M is better than MO, which in turn is better than PMO. Getting intimate with your partner is probably the best. If you have to do something, consider all these alternatives. The part about reaching orgasm I also believe is important, as most people here dealing would probably agree that the orgasm itself is part of the addictive rituals we rely upon, and it's not optimal to reinforce it as a need.

And this is where it gets tricky. Sex and orgasms are natural behaviors we need and want, so sometimes it feels like a natural urge, sometimes it will feel like a compulsive thought.

Do you really think you need this to function at this point? If not, why not experiment with your limits, and see if you learn for yourself something from this journey.

I certainly have learned a lot by going in long abstinence.

Hope that helps.

 

Intimate with partner is best! Masturbation is the easy way out. If you're partner is not available/in the mood then go out for a long walk in nature. Work up a sweat if you can. Just get away from that screen.

 

The longer I abstain from orgasms the more I can see we don't need them. It's like a trick the mind plays, telling us we'll get "relief," "satisfaction," feeling more "alive," etc from the orgasm. The "relief/ satisfaction/aliveness" is a lie. A few seconds of it that disappears like a mirage in the desert, only to be replaced with a need for more "relief"(at some point), dissatisfaction, and a draining of vitality.