29/M/Canada Like many of y'all, exposure to porn at a very young age led me to unknowingly form habits that turned into the serotonin driven addiction we all know and love. I didn't know that it was a problem because I grew up in a very sex - positive household, where i was always told "it's perfectly natural for a young man to masturbate" and there was a paradigm of porn going hand in hand with masturbation (for young men, at least). Fast forward 15 years and it's ruined or greatly strained relationships, nearly gotten me fired, and led to a number of highly awkward encounters. One of these ruined relationships actually brought on a great accomplishment - my girlfriend at the time had left me and I was feeling terrible so I tossed down my pants and went to rub one out. Afterwards, the post nut clarity was so fucking depressing, demeaning, that I made a deal with myself that I would no longer use it as a crutch moving forward. And miraculously, it propelled me to abstain for months! If i remember correctly, somewhere between 6-7 months. Prior to this my longest streak had been 2 weeks. And to be clear - this is total abstinence from porn and masturbation. I still allowed myself to go on dates and hook up/etc. So in this stint of masturbatory abstinence I was able to experience the godlike feeling of having all of this pent-up sexual frustration and testosterone channeled into different areas of my life - romance got easier because I knew the only way to get a release was by wooing the opposite gender, which made me somewhat fearless; I saw way better results at the gym and during my marathon training, and I generally felt like a brain fog had been lifted. Which makes this whole ordeal all the worse, because I know exactly what I'm missing out on. So today, this glorious day, I'm throwing myself back into the race. It's been 3 years since I felt free from myself and I'm going to claw my way back to that place no matter what. Which brings me to my ultimate point: accountability. I need a circle. Similar to a support circle, except... wait no actually it would be identical to a support circle. I need a group of like minded individuals who are all striving for the same thing/ similar versions of the same thing. I want check ins. I want realistic, simple solutions for those crucial moments, guidance for when things aren't panning out the way I might plan and to be able to also provide guidance and help anyone else also in the struggle. lfg
I'd be happy to talk about an accountability circle. I have benefited from a partner here in the past, especially getting an initial streak going. My goal is 100 days (did 90 recently) and then 365. I've had a difficult time getting to even a few days lately. Let me know if you are interested. I can start today at just less than an hour.
Hey man! Welcome to the community and thank you for your post. I can definitely relate to a lot of what you said and understand the importance of having accountability partners. I am here and willing to chat with you on the side anytime. I've struggled with this addiction for over 30 years and have experienced the true progression. It only gets worse. Things I never thought I would do I ended up doing. The shame and guilt associated with my actions have brought me to the deepest depths of hell. That being said, there's HOPE! Recovery from this brutal addiction takes ACTION. Without action, our recovery, if any, will be barely existent and won't last. I am personally not in the "streak" camp as counting numbers did nothing substantial for my recovery other than put pressure on me to obtain a higher number and also distract me from what really matters. For me, what really matters is a complete 180 degree lifestyle change that cannot be defined by a number. Sure, staying sober one day at a time will increase the number of days I'm sober, which is fantastic, and looks really cool. But for me, what's really cool is the daily recovery tools I'm implementing in my life to stay sober one day at a time with the intent of having a complete lifestyle change. If you are willing to go to any lengths to obtain recovery and a complete lifestyle change, this community, and many of the members, are here to support...but it will require absolute dedication and ACTION. Again, welcome to the community. You are in the right place. Please reach out to me on the side anytime. Wishing you the best!
Just a couple days into the new streak (1 day 18 hours). Good to be here, always good to see anyone responding. Truly helps me realize I am not alone. Thanks for that.
Oops! Reset. And now I know you're out there. (Didn't get a chance to check since yesterday morning). All good, thanks.
