I am an Idiot. I failed after 26 days due to my negligence. Unacceptable. I allowed myself to watch p sub's or shows that refer to P related topics. Basically I wasted my time which meant it was easier for me to be convinced to watch P and them M. the day after (today) I m'd again. Both times I did not enjoy it as much as I thought and I am now feeling practically depressed. I watched videos on why its bad and I had built up a good resolve, or so I thought. I was contradicting this time wasting, watching entertainment shows, going on fb, not tidying my room. The thing is I HATE PORN. honestly. with a passion. I feel very weak-willed at the moment and that is probably because I am. I have all these mottos and phrases I use in my head to put me off the despicable thing that is the porn industry. Yet the words are empty as I have not really worked on the strength to enforce them long term. I have not really prayed all my prayers wearing adequately clean clothes. I have not read holy literature. I have not kept my environment in which I spend a lot of time clean.THEREFORE how can I expect my mind to be clean. I have not gone to sleep early and woken up early to go gym and them library for the remainder of the day. I feel like I have let a lot people down not least my family, the people on here as well who I was giving advice to just days or even hours before my relapse. Not going hard mode is truly hard. The fuel to the constant barrage of reminders and triggers is often and damaging. PMO causes depression PMO CAUSES TRAFFICKING PMO CAUSE ANXIETY PMO CAUSES VIOLENCE PMO CAUSES DEAD SOULS PMO CAUSES THE WALKING DEAD PMO CAUSES AFFAIRS PMO CAUSES DIVORCES PMO CAUSES SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES PMO CAUSES RAPE PMO CAUSES A SEXUALISED SOCIETY PMO CAUSES YOUNG MEN AND WOMENPRESSURE TO LOSE THEIR PRECIOUS VIRGINITY PMO CAUSES SECRECY PMO CAUSES ISOLATION PMO CAUSES THE RISE IN INCEST PMO CAUSED ME TO CREATE THIS LIST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD F*CK PMO I'M GOING HARDMODE 90 DAYS I WANT A GOOD FAMILY WHEN I'M OLDER I WANT TO ADOPT/FOSTER CHILDREN I WANT TO VOLUNTEER I WANT TO GIVE TO CHARITY I WANT TO LEARN MORE DEEPLY ABOUT MY RELIGION AND FAITH I WANT TO HELP MY COMMUNITY I WANT TO HELP ALL OF HUMANITY I HAVE ASPIRATIONS AND DREAMS I WANT TO GO BACK TO HOW I WAS DURING MY 26 DAY STREAK AND EVEN BETTER; I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FEEL GOOD WHEN LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND SMILING FREELY SMILING RANDOMLY SMILING CARE FREE I WANT GOD TO FORGIVE ME I WANT TO BE MATURE IN THE SIGHT OF GOD I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SHED TEARS IN PRAYER ONCE AGAIN I DON'T BREAK ANY LAWS BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE PMO OK IN FACT IT JUST SHOWS HOW CORRUPT SOCIETY IS WHEN THE GOVERNMENT CAN ALLOW THINGS LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN, KNOWING FULL WELL IT'S DETRIMENTAL AFFECT ON SOCIETY. OF COURSE THE GOVERNMENT WON'T DO ANYTHING SUBSTANTIAL SO US, OUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS COCAINE ADDICTION WITH THE HELP OF EACH OTHER AND GOD. THANK YOU I JUST NEEDED TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION WRITING DOWN HELPS ME TO ERADICATE BAD THOUGHTS AND REAFFIRM MY GOAL OF HARDMODE PMO I WILL ORGANISE MY LIFE FROM NOW AND USE THIS AS A REMINDER OR I WILL SUFFER FOR NO DOING SO. NO 2 WAYS ABOUT IT.
Hey man, I'm on day 51 and i'm really horny today. I can't do shit I have to do. I'm just thinking about ass and tits and pussy. I think I'm jerk off. What do you guys think???
I think have a cold shower, cus unless you want to feel depressed all of a sudden that is the best option.
