Hi NoFap Community, I am new and already love this site and am so happy to start this. My question is I have an amazing girlfriend and we've been dating for 7 months. She has made me a better person and our relationship is great. However, I still am trying to give up PM. A big reason I saw this problem is because I want to be able to really love her without this past of mine lingering. For example we went on an amazing date and talked for hours the other day. The next day when I wasn't around her I just get distracted with other women like models or large instagram college girls or post on Facebook of attractive girls. Just anything really on social media. This leads me to want to like want to try and chase other women or fantasy about someone else instead of wanting to love my girlfriend and who she is. It kills me because none of this is her fault and it's completely mine. It comes from my past with PMO and constantly seeing something new and fresh and wanting that instead of wanting real love. Ive gone 10 days without PMO but I would love some guidance and some support from you all. Thank you guys a lot. And please let me know if you need help too.
Why is your amazing relationship not enough? Ah, but it IS enough. You just have a hard time seeing it from where you are right now. @Mr. Cold Turkey is spot on: Clear your mind of the poison you've been feeding it, and everything else will fall into place.
Porn is not a natural thing and, like many unnatural things, it can have a negative effect on us. Several studies have shown that excessive PMO can lead to a temporarily loss of a sense of connection with other people, dulled emotions, and also decrease our ability to empathize (these are all temporary). This sounds like it may be what you are experiencing, but as you continue to avoid PMO you'll gradually notice all of these things starting to return to their pre-PMO levels. Also, you're not the only one that experiences this feeling of wanting to pursue other women. In fact, I don't know a single guy that doesn't feel that way when they're in a relationship. This probably comes from the fact that being in a relationship can be a HUGE confidence booster and we often think that since one person is interested in us physically/mentally/emotionally then there must be other people who are too. So, don't feel guilty for wanting to pursue other women, just remember that you respect your girlfriend and enjoy being around her enough not to.
Its important to give yourself time so that the damage from PMO is reversed. At first (when starting the NoFap journey), pursuing anything feels like a drag, and nothing seems worth the effort. As time goes by, and we start to feel again, pursuing goals and maintaining relationships feels more satisfying. A nice article about this http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn and-perception-is-your-limbic-brain-distorting-your-vision
