Every journey begins with a small step

Hi,

well I'm completely new as well. I'm extremely happy that I found this community. It is really comforting to see that no one is allow with his or her struggles.

I have been struggling with pornography for quite a while now. It started as for all of us when I was a teen and continued until today. There have been ups and down and I was able to stop it for 2 years. But recently I have not been able to resist PMO for more than 2 weeks and its always the same pattern. Especially being bored, feeling lonely and being too content with everything usually triggers me.

I know I have to change. I am married for 2 years now and love my wife with all of my heart and would never even consider cheating on her. She is the love of my life and there is no person in the world that is like her. But I'm afraid if I dont control this problem that I will slowly distance myself from her and not feel attracted to her anymore. I know PMO is damaging our relationship and Sex life and this is why I have to stop.

Its time to arise from the dust and be a men that is faithful not only in his actions but in his thoughts and heart also!!

I'm happy for any advice and experience anyone likes to share!

 

Thanks Buddy, I'm really happy to be here!

 

Hey guys, thank you very much for your thoughts. I really appreciate it! Its amazing how exchange with others makes you feel stronger and really gets you to commit yourself more fully to this cause. I have never talked with anyone about that because I was ashamed. I was especially not able to talk to my wife about that because I'm afraid that she would doubt my love and commitment to her. I dont want her to feel bad or as if something was her fault because its definitly not!
One weird aspect I noticed is that despite my consumption of porn I have not felt any increased desire to cheat or do what ever in real life. Of course as a result of porn I always feel bad and ashamed as if I had cheated on her, but its almost like a parallel universe which is not fully connected to reality (obviously not considering the negaitve personal effects). At least not yet! I strongly believe if I dont get control over it now, that it will start to destroy my relationship "reality" as well.

 

All the best on your journey as well!