So 5 months ago I specifically remember the day I conjured this mentality. It was the weirdest shit ever, so like I was rustling the jimmies whilst watching a simple porno of a girl stripteasing.. and I had already fapped twice prior that day. After the ejaculation I was relaxed and the random "What if I was g..." question popped into my head for no reason at all and its been stuck there ever since and it disgusts me. Some days it gets easier some days it gets worst... and I felt like I couldn't look at a guys face without feeling weird. My anxiety pops all this gayish thoughts in my mind.. and it's hard to stop. But with further research I realized that it was indeed a porn addiction related OCD. But by implementing NoFap its helped this problem a little bit. I've lasted 15 days before, and just ended up fapping because I thought I didn't need to implement NoFap, but after excessive masturbating afterwards it just got worst. On day 7 currently and hoping this little "phase" will go away. I really don't like these thoughts at all. I used to be a horny devil (hence the name lol)and a hopeless romantic. But now I've changed, and all that runs through my mind is uncomfortable thoughts aided by my anxiety. I mean I have nothing against gay people, but in no way in hell am I attracted to the same sex. But yeah lately it feels as if my sexuality is unbalanced and I'm ready to implement NoFap to get my sexuality back to balanced. I know this is my first post but just wanted to introduce myself to the forum and let everyone know why I joined "NoFap". Occasionally I still look at the nude photo or two...and I know I need to stop and try find a real girlfriend. Enough of looking at these pixels! I'm READY TO STAY CLEAN!
Hey FormerlyHornyDevil, I'm glad you have nothing against gay people because here comes one right now to try and help you! It sounds to me like the thoughts you had are perfectly normal. Let me lay out a similar scenario from my perspective to see if you can look at this a bit differently... A lot of porn I would watch would be straight porn with women in it as well. Sometimes really beautiful women. And sometimes I would look at them and think 'Wow, she's fucking stunning'. I could appreciate her beauty and even think what it might be like to fuck her. But these thoughts wouldn't cause me any distress at all because, number 1, there's no stigma attached to having them. And number 2, I have absolutely no fear or expectation that looking at women and admiring them, or even thinking about fucking them, is going to turn me straight or even bi. I am 100% gay and am very comfortable and secure in that. Now, from your perspective, you would see an attractive guy and if any of these thoughts popped into your head, it would freak you right out! You'd immediately begin trying to force yourself not to think 'gayish thoughts', which is about as possible as not thinking about pink elephants if someone says 'don't think of pink elephants'. It becomes the only thing you can think of and, as you suggest, can become a bit of an obsession. So I'd recommend giving yourself a break. You said yourself 'in no way in hell am I attracted to the same sex'. Well, there you have it. End of story. You can stop wondering about it. If a thought like that pops into your head just don't give it any oxygen. I don't spend a lot of time wondering if I may actually be straight and not realize it, and you shouldn't wonder about yourself either. If it were that easy for your orientation to change, just by thinking those thoughts or being aware that some people are more attractive than others, regardless of their gender, I think all that crazy therapy to 'cure' gay people would have a much higher success rate! I hope that you, or anyone else who is reading this and has similar worries, can take some comfort in this. Take it from a gay guy... you ain't gay! Thanks for listening.
I went through this hardcore... It's quite troubling , especially when you'Ve failed to rise to.the occasion so.to.speak..... From my perspective , I think as long as you're watching porn and surfing thru fb , or.looking at chicks trying to get an erection... These thoughts will still linger. For me I have chosen to abstain from sexual thoughts period until a full reboot has been reached.. so far its worked. I noticed a chick in a store today and without even thinking about her sexually - found myself erect within seconds (tucked it.in lol) but ya it's scary, not because we have anything against gays, but because we feel our original sexuality is being threatened / possiblity of change...like supercooper said, dont give these thoughts oxygen... They wilk subside and you will regain control. Cheers fellas P.s.as for finding a real.gf I think for both of us not having that want in mind is healthiest for.our reboots.. for the first month of reboot that's all I could think about myself. (On day 40 no p) but now I realize I really want to discover / appreciate who I am before I expect a nice young lady to do the same
Hey guys! Really Appreciate you guys responding. On day 16 of NoFap so far and I mean it's definitely helped. However the HOCD is still there and I'm still feeling these uncomfortable feelings when looking at guys, but not as much as before. Even by just saying that it makes me feel unconfortable, but hey it's not gonna go away in a matter of 3 weeks. I've read stories online of guys getting over this phase, and majority of the time the process goes for awhile. It took a guy 78 days of NoFap to get over it. So that is a sign of hope for me. I mean it's easy to say that I'm not gonna give these thoughts oxygen, but so HARD to do. What makes this process worst is that I feel like I am commencing my libido stage. I still get random erections here and there when thinking about girls but it's getting less and less day by day, and that definitely scares me. I'm porn free atm.. did watch some in the beginning but did not dare to touch my dick... the crave for masturbation however get pretty strong at times, but I'm trying to fight against it! 16 DAYS SO FAR AND NO CHANCE I'M QUITTING. READY TO STAY CLEAN !
Thank you for posting. Reading posts and replying are part of my recovery. The literature I am reading says that what you are going through is not uncommon. We are drawn to more and more hardcore/intense P the longer we have the problem. Our brains are not satisfied with basic, standard, P, after a while, it wants images and scenes that are even more shocking because the more shocking the more chemicals it pumps out in return. I experienced this myself. Thanks again for posting. I can see you are struggling and I appreciate you sharing. It is inspiring. I hope you stay clean.
Hey guys, long story short. One day on my way to College i sat next to a guy in the bus stop and he asked me a couple questions like what school do u go to? whats your major ? Then he crossed the line. Do u have a gf? I said no and then he asked me the weirdest shit , a boyfriend? I automatically said "No im straight bro". Then he said "well your pretty handsome" I didnt know what to do so I walked away slowly and laughed. Thru out the Bus ride he was sitting in the back and me in the front i felt gross af and what not i got to school and i had these thought i never had " Wtf is this my fault?" "Im not gay" then i would see "gay guys" and just remember what he asked me . i had homosexual thoughts that day and heading back home i started crying idk why i had never experienced this i had always had Gay classmates in High school and i wouldnt mind i was like wtvr lucky him foo gets to talk to all the pretty girls lmao. I feel weird among guys my age now this kills me . i quit watching porn immedietly that day i had been trying to quit for years (I would always search up "Mia Khalifa, Alexis Texas, Lissa ann All them women that would get me a huge boner and pleasure "fat booty" "Latina ass" to say a couple) i would also like to mention that i would fuck around with my homies saying "ily" i was in my hs varsity soccer team and they would always slap my ass and i wouldnt care, guy shit you know . i always wanted to have sex with the hottest girls in my classes and so and still do i just dont understand why them homosexual thoughts. i watched porn for 4 years age 14 to 18 about 4 times a week i would say was my average . i think this was gods wake up call to get me away from ponography and see women as amazing. Pretty and intellegent im currently on my 38th day porn free and masturbation i had wet dreams (2) which i believe is normal. I already went thru all the fatigue, depression,sadness,nausea,headaches and all that, i have gotten larger boners i have noticed. Its just my intrusive thoughts that are not letting me be happy rn. But ik god will be there and give me the peace i had in my mind . what are yall thoughts ?
You are fuckin true my gay friend. Even I'm had those gay thoughts at time. Its nothing serious, let thoughts come and laugh about it. Lol and name its gone. Its just that the dick has become very sensitive to everything. So just need to chill. I hope this helped even I had a same problem I solved it within weeks..
