Hi my family took me to a Doctor Who recommended I see an "early intervention" team because they said I had changed a whole lot quickly in the last few months (it rings true what some community members have said about the death of the old self - I even said when they asked 'where is the old you?' I replied "dead" and laughed). And so the team kept asking me questions once a week and I was all insulted and pent up as you can imagine with the highest testosterone level in my life ( OVER 9000!! ; I was about 7 months deep and had no nofap or community really beyond my church that knew much or cared about abstinence. I actually am interested in becoming a monk and have been for some time. So after a few months I severed connections with the Early Intervention team and then was sort of caught and incarcerated in some sort of mental institution for 10 days where I ended up fapping after 5 days or so cos it was so real and unrelenting. I engaged so little with the conventional understanding of practical reality they all agreed upon between them If that makes any sense - "be not conformed to the world but to the constant renewing of the mind" (Romans). I was not diagnosed with anything but ended up on mind (and libido) controlling drugs for maybe a year then fapping to awful degrading brainwashing porno for maybe a few months til recently I stopped drinking so much with the help of the Church. Now back climbing the mountain but not sure where abouts exactly I am when I think of where I was. I want to get to 400 days and it might be quite attainable with nofap. Insid, I even indicated to my carer about should I fap or not (after months of babbling and arguing) and she indicated the affirmative then my years of extreme weakness began. Er, thoughts?
