fighting pmo together with other addictions

I have a heroin and oxycodone habit. I love crushing those blue pills and snorting them, feeling the warm opiates carry me in a cozy, fuzy fantasy land. I also love my orgasm rushes hence PMO, but I'm a true sex addict.
Orgasms and Opiates are what I love; Sex and Drugs.

You needd to realize that PMO is a serious addiction, man to me it is harder stay off porn and not thinking about sex than withdrawing from heroin/opiates. Currently coming off a benzo binge, physical withdrawal - i can deal with that, I've had so much pain in my life I expect it but psychological? Thats were its tough for me, knowing I can go watch porn or get a girl and have an orgasm, knowing I can experience pleasure? Thats my clutch, pleasure. Pain is almost a joke nowadays to me as I constantly have experienced both physical and psychological pain for nearly 7 years.

Its my desire for intense or sustained pleasure that is my motivation in life, and I'll do anything to have any form of pleasure whether it be sex, drugs, violence, TV, - right now I'm in a flatline at 27 days, it sucks, having no sex drive, I feel like a motivational-less being. Void of any escape from the ill trip of depression.

Once I am free of PMO and I have my sex drive back, I'll be fucking every girl I can cause thats what makes me happy. If I could successfully rob a pharmacy and steal all the oxycodone or grow a poppy field and make heroin, I'd do it, cause thats what makes me happy.

I equate pleasure - to - happiness. Which, I believe is true, however when I was at day 60, 70, 80, 90 on my rebooting I was just happy to be alive. I've survived deadly encounters with people but I survived, just happy to be alive and exist. Happy I have a nice warm home instead of being exposed to the frigid cold outside. Happy that I wasnt a soldier ordered to charge a machine gun nest in WW1.

sORRY for the long rant but TL;DR if you want to change your life your going to have to be serious about it. We all have addictions, i.e. things in life that make us especially happy but rebooting from PMO is much more than just getting your sex drive back like you said it will make you into a true man, you'll be able to get a job, get in shape, do the things you love. PMO numbs you to the world and makes you a zombie, the least we can do as good human beings is not PMO. I'm so tired of PMO that at this point i consider murder a trivial matter compared to PMO addiction. And a PMO addiction is far worse than have a habit of snorting heroin or oxycodone IMO.

 

do whatever it takes we're all here backing you up. Come to this website everyday if you have to.

 

You're the man darkpoolman, keep going! Don't give in!

 

its important u learn why u relapsed. wht triggered u? How can u avoid it in the future.

 

you can do it!

I am fighting an alcohol addiction! be strong keep your eye on the prize!