Stronger Urges, digging deeper

Long story short, I have tried to nofap for several times in my past, but this is the most serious time.

So far at 60+ days ,69 I think . Saw some porn clips from a social media, very short and closed right away and did not look again. But that set off a fire. My urge to look at porn increased dramatically. I am staying on the forum, trying to battle it off.

I am aware of the usual technique of talking walks and do something else, but deep down I know, this is a deeper problem than just biological cravings.

Why do we fap anyways? I think we need to be clear on this, in order to completely eradicate this problem.

From a cost benefit perspective, PMO is not worth it at all, and we are all aware of the negative impacts. It's important to understand the biological aspect of it, as well as the psychological aspect of it. But I feel that's not enough.

Deep down, there might be another problem. So I will be very honest here.

How do you cope with the urges to look at beautiful women, to have sex with them? I feel I might have a stronger desire to have sex with beautiful women. I was a shy kid in high school, never went on any dates, did not lose my virginity until university, and I always feel I haven't been with enough women. Like I feel I need to have sex with a lot of beautiful women before I can settle down. It seems like there's no way to overcome this, unless I do it. Hence, the PMO, well if I can't get it done in real life, I'll look at some porn then.

That was my mentality before. What's different this time, is that I am 24 now, and my friends since high school, and university have all took different paths. I feel so mediocre and ordinary and incompetent. Because based on society's standard, that's true. I am not cool enough, successful enough etc etc.

There's a saying that men are about three things, women, power and money. I think money and power have kind of combined in our age. If you have a lot of money, unless you want political power, you can live very well and feel powerful enough. I had a friend in high school with hundreds Gs of porn, I'd say he's pretty into porn. But something seems to changed, I am not sure if he still spend time at porn, but he exercised harder, and went to clubs and socialized a lot, and had sex with a lot of women, and even a threesome. He was once a pretty close friend, so I won't deny that I am envious of his physical and social achievements.


So I am kind of lost. I know I am not good enough, but I don't work hard enough either, and I hate myself for it. I used to use porn at the relief, but have come to realize that it will get me nowhere.


We do nofap to overcome PIED, and other problems in life as well. But when we are successful at this journey, how do we overcome, if we are to overcome, the urge for novelty, the desire to constantly have sex with beautiful women?



Apologies if post sound a bit messy, feel free to share any of your thoughts.

 

Thank you for the kind words!