I REALAPSED AFTER 296 DAYS! A NEW BEGINNING.

I like no-BS mode. Wasn't as far along as you but I felt I was doing pretty good with my P habit. And while to some degree I had really cut back, the P Subs were killing me. I now realize I was essentially relapsing and rebooting on and off for over 4 months.
This is probably why my first 2 weeks of "No-BS mode" have been so difficult.

 

Ten months is a decent length of time @programmer. But it doesn't count for very much if you were constantly hitting the dopamine button via p/subs. Evidently, your appetite was undiminished and would have remained so had you done 100 months. I think this is a community-wide blind spot. It is a perfect storm when we factor in our inclination to rationalise!

It seems you have a particular lust for "hot babes' butts". Do you really think it makes much difference if that butt is nude OR if it is almost nude (with a small amount of fabric, yet exposing most of the butt)? There isn't really. In fact, a picture can arguably be more arousing with when there is not total nudity. Ever tried looking at butts in naturist camps. They are not that arousing (if at all) just because they are nude. But this is where rationalisation comes in. If it is nude - it is porn. If they are scantily and erotically clothes - it is only a porn sub. The erroneous inference is that a p/sub is less of an issue.

I don't know if you were edging during your seemingly successful streak of over 290 days. If so, that would negate any claim to having a streak at all. It causes by far the biggest release of dopamine than any other behaviour - often for hours.

I am pleased to see your new approach and wish you well as you endeavour to make real progress and beat this addiction.

 

Hey brother - you are welcome! Do you have an accountability partner? If you have a brother, close friend, parent etc that would be ideal as face-to-face is always best. If not, ask for one in the forum because they can help you to be more strict with your new boundaries. One strict code is, do not touch your dick unless you are washing it or peeing with it!

Oh, yeah, greetings from Brighton, England (sunny sometimes).

 

The answer is here @JJames: http://www.NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/whats-considered-p.58805/#post-437572

 

@IGY this is somthing that actually bothers me. What is allowed to watch during the streak? Cause I usually stumble in P subs but they almost never trigger me nor make me feel urges! And eventualky what can we define as a P sub? Every photo or pic or just full body bikins? Or what else?

 

Hi @Dgmili93. The link I posted in my previous post will answer your question. ^

Personally, I think the best approach is to be as strict with yourself as possible. This is usually referred to as hard mode. The sooner you can stop sexual thoughts and imagery, the less likely will be the chances of a lapse, leading to porn and/or masturbation. P/subs may seem innocuous, but they are a form of rationalisation - "I am only..." Try and be strict buddy.

 

I totally agree with @IGY about being strict with yourself. It may feel like you're being too hard on yourself but on the contrary, the most strict you are with yourself the EASIER you are being on yourself. Watching porn substitutes can be like having a cake always in the house when you desperately need to diet. By not giving yourself the option of the cake, it's easier to stay on your diet. This is not a perfect analogy as it implies porn substitutes are harmless if you have good self-control. That is not true since porn substitutes are JUST AS BAD AS PORN. If it's giving you dopamine, and if you're strengthening the brains circuitry for watching porn (by searching for porn/porn substitutes) it's just as bad.

With that said, I have been EXACTLY where you have before. This is my fourth attempt and my first attempt I relapsed at 87 days Hard Mode! "WTF why didn't you just for 3 more days?" is a logical question but I realized at the 87th day that I had been cheating since day 45 (interestingly enough which is exactly how many days I'm at today). I don't know how the fuck I rationalized 42 days of porn substitute watching but it was a valuable lesson. I am hyper aware these days if I'm searching for porn substitutes and I get hard on myself about it because I want this journey to be as easy as possible! Just watching a little bit makes the next two to three days HARDER because I will crave it more. Just my $0.02.

 

Putting all the weight on yourself to upkeep those goals is unwise. What happens if you fail? Even more disappointment. NoFap is a journey of self discovery, not a to do list to prove you have control over yourself. Love yourself enough to realize that you may mess up. I believe you can be free forever though.

 

Hi @programer,
It's kinda worrying when I, the newbie, read that a pro who went above 9 months can also relapse..
I had this Idea that once I go past 3 months then that's I'm cured and it's just a matter of staying that way...

Can you please tell me more about what was going on in your head at the time? I mean weren't you thinking like oh man I've come so far or something like this?

 

You have to force yourself and remind yourself.

Looking in the mirror and deep into your eyes can help - because when you are talking to someone else and mean business you will do exactly tha!

 

Keep strong man! I respect you for your 290+days, I'm surge you will come stronger and pass this mark! Keep ballin!

 

Seth, were you touching your self while looking at psubs or just looking just to get the image and thought in your head? But yea i do feel that psubs are a huge problem if and only if you dont have exeptional will power. If you want to rid this completely and have 100% invested in it and have no will to relapse, then psubs have no power. Its just another thing you see and continue about the day.

 

I wasn't touching myself or edging at all. On the 87th day I started to edge and I realized that I was completely cheating so I said fuck it and went all the way to orgasm.

 

Exactly. There were some non-nude tease videos that were crazy erotic that I used to jerk off to all the time. It may have been classified as soft-porn or porn-substitutes, but I eventually realized that they way they objectified women was even worse than some of the nude videos I'd watched, and I switched to some stuff that was nude but less focused on body parts. Eventually I realized that all of that was still pretty messed up, dumped my stash, and signed up for nofap.

But yeah, there are a lot of things that would be considered "porn-subs" that I can tell are as bad or worse than some other stuff which is classified as porn.

In this regard, in terms of recovery, the difference between (some) porn and (some) art is not what it shows, but what YOU do with it in your mind.