Scheduled MOs for avoiding binge mode

Oy, lionace. I want to tell you I totally share your opinion about that subject. I did not have long streak like you had. At least on the masturbation part, I have not masturbate for 32 days max. For the porn part, I always had not that much trouble dealing with it, I was never a strong addicted, I wouldn't watch porn everyday and it was 5 or 10 minutes, no more. Of course, I fantasised when I masturbated. But when I've realised it wasn't something I wanted anymore, well, I decided to stop it, and I honnestly don't have hard time dealing with that.

Like you, I don't believe in "the longest the streak, the better it is to watch porn", it's definitely not my thing, and it's not because I don't want to fight, proof is that I did it, it's because in my case, it's not like that it should work, IMO it's a dayly thing to do. It's an attitude to do, the answer is not ONLY and necessary to stop masturbating, for some time or not.
When you watch tv or you go out, it's to not watch at the sexual parts of person. It's to not objectifying them, it's to not fantasising about them, thing like that. It's an attitude to adopt.
For me, masturbation is necessary to release the pressure I feel around the area, but it's not used to fantasising or things like that y'know, and it doesn't have to be 10 minutes.
Now I'm not saying that long streak are shit, not at all. I'm saying that long streak method isn't necessary for every person, and there isn't any excuse here : I masturbated 5 times since my latest streak, and I have not fantasised a single time. Also, while I was on my long streak not fapping, it's when I had a lot of sexual scenrey and images forcingly coming to my mind. Now it has calmed down, and no, I did not use sexual scenery or imageries when I fapped. It just calmed down after releasing the pressure. I don't have them anymore.

Honnestly, I wouldn't have talk about it if it wasn't to give you my own opinion about the subject, if it wasn't to sorta "help you", y'know ? Because really, like TakingTheSteps said, there'll always be people saying you're doing the wrong thing, you don't want to fight etc, instead of making the effort to understand the difference in people. There will always be people who will go against you, and some with you. It's always interesting to hear people who go against you when they are honnest in their speech, and not people who tell you "you're wrong" because, in truth, they fear. Because people who honnestly tell you that they don't share your opinion are people who makes you realise the difference, and HOW you're different, sometimes why you're different.

If you ask me if I have a problem . . . I would tell you that like everyone I've been affected by porn, but honnestly, I don't think that the problem is really that bad in my case, because I wasn't really addicted to porn, even though I had fantasms. As of today I'm able to say "no, I don't want you, you're useless to me" to those fantasms, y'know ? I know what I want and deep in me I don't see any interest anymore with the person I have. So no, I don't thing masturbating is a wrong thing at some extent to some people. I would also insist on something I have read on nofap: Nofap doesn't recommend to completely eradicate masturbation from your part, Nofap is here to help you be clean about addiction, and masturbation can eventually be problematic for some people, they need to not use it to be free of addiction. Some people might use masturbation as a training "not thinking of any sexual thoughts". In the end, it's like everyone's saying: it only comes from you, if you really think something's wrong and you feel shame, not good and all with the idea then something's wrong and there's a problem here. If not then, continue on your path.

I wish you the best.^_^

 

IMHO -- if I understand correcly that your ultimate goal is to ultimately decrease the frequency of MO, but to nevertheless schedule them in order to prevent binging -- your proposed methodology will simply make your challenge more difficult, because of what is termed in this forum the "chaser effect."

At least from my own personal experience, each time you MO after having abstained for a while, you simply "reset" your inner animal and recharge it's urges, thereby erasing or significantly reducing any progress that had been previously built-up in approaching a flatline! I predict that the effort needed to stay clean on "the day after" one's scheduled MO will be much more than that required to incrementally delay that MO by an additional day.

I hold that, in general, it becomes increasingly easier to maintain one's clean streak, as that streak increasingly gets longer. So why deliberately keep starting from scratch each time and returning one's self to the most difficult portion of the required-effort curve?!

Just sayin'!

 

Hi Lionace,

I totally support you. I think you've hit upon the right formula. The way I look at it is that P is the trouble maker. It's unnatural and something that should be avoided.

However for single men or women, for that matter, they have no other outlet in order to fulfill their sexual urges. If I was married or perhaps in a relationship I could O with my better half and then perhaps the need for M is "reduced". I stress upon the word "reduced" because there can be situations where the sex drive of partners differ which could lead to the need for one of the partners to M in order to fulfill his/her carnal urge.

In my opinion everyone has sexual urges once they attain puberty. While there may be upswings or dips as time passes, it still remains. M is a natural way to satisfy it. It becomes unnatural only when it becomes excessive or is accompanied by P. Even fantasizing cannot be labelled as harmful in my view. Because when you M you're naturally going to think about something which you find is a turn on. Of course when you question what would be an appropriate fantasy you enter a grey area. Let me just say that it is subjective.

However I'm in a bit of a dilemma as to whether scheduling it would be appropriate. While I'm all for it in principle I don't know whether it is practical. Perhaps I could elaborate with an example. Suppose I'm aroused on a Monday and my scheduled MO happens to fall on a Sunday. Do you think I could tame the beast and endure it for a week. That would be a little cruel and could affect my other activities during the week. I think it all boils down to what works for oneself.

I've already started a 90 day hard mode. But your idea and experience has really altered my train of thought. Perhaps I could tweak it to make it a P-mode challenge. But I digress. Let me thank you once again for enlightening me.

 

Do you need to take your hand to dinner and a movie before the scheduled event?

Sorry, it's Friday and I'm looking to have a some fun, I realize you posted a serious question.
Good luck, whatever works best for you is the solution. Be true to yourself, if it feels right than it's the correct thing to do. You have the wisdom to know if it's good or not good.