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Making fapping the scapegoat

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by omarcoming, Apr 6, 2014.

  1. Apr 6, 2014 #1
    omarcoming

    omarcoming Fapstronaut

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    Just posting some general observations having been knocking around the site for a little while now...

    There seems to be a fair amount conjecture on here blaming fapping for all sorts of problems in people's lives, I just wonder, so we have the tendency to try and reduce all of our problems to being a result of PMO? I mean the whole sexual performance (DE/ED) seems to have quite a bit of weight behind it and is backed up by numerous testimonies. But beyond that are we guilty of overstating the significance of it?

    I wonder as well there seems to be quite a crossover with the whole PUA thing on here, a lot of people reading between the lines thinking stopping PMO is inevitably going to lead to getting laid - am I missing something or is this missing the point somewhat?

    Curious to hear others' thoughts on this...
     
    omarcoming, Apr 6, 2014
    omarcoming, Apr 6, 2014
    #1
  2. Apr 7, 2014 #2
    Soul Cage

    Soul Cage Fapstronaut

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    Thank you I needed to hear this sentence today.
     
    Soul Cage, Apr 7, 2014
    Soul Cage, Apr 7, 2014
    #2
  3. Apr 7, 2014 #3
    omarcoming

    omarcoming Fapstronaut

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    PUA = pickup artist.

    And yes I agree with you about what you said with regards to attitude towards women, it's at odds with the above group.
     
    omarcoming, Apr 7, 2014
    omarcoming, Apr 7, 2014
    #3
  4. Apr 11, 2014 #4
    Delirius_

    Delirius_ Fapstronaut

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    Hello Yorick,
    it would seam that you are in very different situation than many of the people here.
    Essentially, you might be fighting different problem. As I see from many testimonies here,
    many of the guys who do this (including me) haven't been in an intimate relationship with a woman yet
    and they don't know how to think they even can. And when they finally start to believe they can,
    they have no idea how to do it. For these guys fapping and porn is part of the same problem because it
    brings one to a very bad mindset and skews the reality to the point where one doesn't know how to handle
    real life situations. Being eager to "get laid" might be bad mindset too... but it might be an important
    first step towards a healthier attitude. It is definitely an improvement over being eager to PMO.
     
    Delirius_, Apr 11, 2014
    Delirius_, Apr 11, 2014
    #4
  5. Apr 11, 2014 #5
    Madrileño

    Madrileño Fapstronaut

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    I would totally agree with this. Sex and PMO are entirely different things. It's about proper balance in all things. PMO takes one element of one aspect of life and makes it everything. It comes to dominate thoughts, bahavious and attitudes. So sex is by no means the enemy - but it needs to be put back into its proper place in life. Like overeating, overshopping, overanything. Then, when there's a better balance we become more rounded human beings and relationships improve - either within a long term partnership or on the way to one. So the goal of nofap noPMO isn't getting laid - IMHO - it's getting straightened out. Then sex might happen or not but we are certainly going to healthier guys to connect with. Which seems a good first step.
     
    Madrileño, Apr 11, 2014
    Madrileño, Apr 11, 2014
    #5

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