I have a bad temper

Lately the last couple of weeks have been very difficult for me. I just got out of college and I'm looking for work. I live with my parents and my love life is not the best. I'm not happy with my life, and I'm trying to move out, but can't because I can't find a fucking job. Last Christmas, I was supposed to hook up with the girl of my dreams, only to find out that she has chosen another guy over me.

Besides completing school, which was the only thing that was good, there were a few bad things that happened including being turned down from several job interviews, more stress, being terminated from my internship, and so on. The other problem is that I have a pretty bad temper when things go wrong or when things don't work out. I've have this problem since I was 10, and I'm worried about it.

Outside my home, I try to be a good person, and for the most part I am. I'm very kind to my coworkers, friends, and other people that I care about. But they don't know the rage that I carry in me. It's scary sometimes, and it would always happen at home because that's where it's most comfortable. If people knew how angry I was really was, they would be appalled. I punched the wall and broke my hand more times than I could count, and I've screamed to the point my lungs give out.

The reason I'm saying this now is that I might have another episodes (which I haven't had in 12 month). Sometimes, I just can't control my anger, and it's due to all the things I have to deal with in my life. It's scary when I get mad. I don't like it, but it's the only way I can release some tension. As of now, I'm just talking a lot of bullshit...I'm just really in a bad mood. Everyone else seems happier while I'm not.