Just now I'm on the border line of relapse, real close The enormous desire at some point overpower my conscious mind, "is ok going back to fapping life for some time , I can always resume later" kind of thinking creep in to my mind. This happens because today I allow myself to surf erotic fiction forum and actually downloaded some txt, manage to stop at last second but the txt still lies in my laptop Today is my Day 10, the temptation is never ever this high, I guess I'll need a cold shower right now, bye This is my journal, I update it daily and hope that it helps to strengthen my will to resist pmo http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?8078-My-1st-journal-yy1204
Had to close out of my web browser today. I was so close to a relapse! Definitely a close call. Going to punish myself by donating some cash to charity.
I think my relapse will come soon. I couldn't get it out of my mind, all kinds all porn scene, imagination from erotic fiction among others are becoming stronger and stronger since my last post. I managed to survive last time, but when the next wave of temptation comes, I lose my confident to resist already... Posted after taking a cold shower...
You have an opportunity right now to look at what is happening and change your situation/environment to prevent a recycle. Before I recycled last time I had strong urges before that but I didn't think ahead to the next time. Can you delete all of the material that you downloaded and block the websites so that you cannot get any of the content? Having the material on your computer (or elsewhere) is very helpful to keep you in an addiction since you know it is a possibility.
Yes, I've deleted all my porn videos and blocked every porn site I know, still left some erotic fiction chinese novel that was mentioned above. The stories are to challenge your imagination about extreme porn. The old one are all gone since I 1st started nofap here, but I still couldn't bring myself to delete the new one, before I read it...
Bro you gotta hang in there! Keep believing in yourself and the power that is within you. Remind yourself constantly about the reasons why you are doing this, and you will realise that relapsing is not the way to go. Think about how good you will feel once you're clean and free from this addiction. I suggest you delete that erotic fiction right now if you can. It's not worth it to have the temptation lying around. It's not a test of character or anything, it's your brain rationalising away, trying to go back to its old ways. Be strong bro. Peace.
You've got to delete the new one before reading it. If you end up looking at it, it only drives the addiction deeper. When I finally deleted everything I experienced an intense feeling of freedom. It is so worth it!
