came home from work- the temptation to relapse..

I just got home from a long long day at work..i feel so tired..
So i get home and sit down at the kitchen table to eat some dinner..when suddenly i felt like grinding and relapsing..

This is probably gonna be bothering me all night now...
Any suggestions?

I wish i could just like sing a song or something to make it go away haha...or some like quote haha..
I should memorize shakespear and recite it when i am feeling this way suddenly..lol

 

You can make a cold shower or drink cold water and put some cold water to your face!

 

Kristen is her name,Seems like a blonde,
She stands out apart,from the Nofap monde.
Is she beautiful or is she ugly,
doesn't matter,cause she's our ally.
I'm not very good at this,She might think that,
But who cares? It isn't a big threat.
Frustrated she might be,having an urge,
All she wants is that someone can help her purge.
I haven't got much in my bag,to help her,
Cause I'm justcause47,not Alexander.
But one thing I can surely say,
that can make your effort pay.
To not give up in life is a must,
Love is the way honey,not Lust.

 

And that's what you do ^when you have an urge next time.

 

Lol the first part was a tad offensive..
Im not blonde..lol...im not ugly..lol...and why do i stand out? Is it because im a messed up loser? :O

 

Lol now I just feel drepressed and sick to my stomach cause that poem just made me feel like crap..lol..
Everyone here provably thinking im a fat, ugly loser jerking off alone in her parents basement (none of thats true) makes me feel bad that could be some peoples views
Thats part of the reason i do porn because im scared of people thinking bad things about me..and the only time i get complemented or affirmed is when im on cam for someone....even the ladt person i wad with on cam told me 'U have a gift, so dont throw it to just anyone' well thanks thats pretty much the whole reason i keep camming..is to get those exact words..that person was addicted to me for like 2 weeks...idk...makes me feel worth something if someone cant stand being away and just wants to be with me 24/7...even if its purely sexual...

 

Srry for the rant..lol got side tract..haha

 

TRIGGER/SPOILER (Apparently..) :/

Ya my only gift/talent is making people cum hard...i objectify myself... ....

 

No one thinks you as a loser. At least I don't. You ain't a loser,ain't fat(as you said). But being honest,You almost everytime type here when you have an urge or after a relapse.So the mindset in those situations,does affect your writing. We can't say anything certain about you lol.
But why being scared of what others say to you? You are who you are. If some people do think bad things about you,then it reflects their thinking itself.They are themselves bad. Only a Goldsmith can have the recognition of original diamonds,not a normal person lol.
But As I said earlier,If you ain't gonna be open for new friendships here,then there is a greater chance of you missing some very good people.Just pick out and experiment,and see if you can find someone who makes you feel worth. It's like there's a mountain in front of you and you have closed your eyes due to a little sand particle lol.

 

You need to stop web camming immediately. You have to respect yourself as a person most importantly. It may make you feel good to excite others, but I'm betting it makes you feel cheap and fake at the same time. You can also think of every time you "reveal" yourself, you are feeding someone else s porn addiction and making it harder for them to quit. By stopping, you are helping yourself and others.
I don't think anyone feels less about anyone on here because we are all in the same boat and fighting this to different degrees. I'm rooting for you!!

 

Lol since its online Id just feel bad and do it with them because probably they are lonely and feeling bad because they cant have anyone since they have aids..at least i could give them a little happiness..even if its just on a screen..lol...my reasoning is bazzare

 

You can give more happiness to people if you don't cam. Human to Human contact is way better than A PC to PC.

And afterall,accept it that you're rationalizing.

 

Hey, @Kristen, I know much pressure can be on you when you are in a Christian family and you are the only one addicted to porn. You beat up on yourself because it makes you feel guilty. I know how it feels.