When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

When I look in the mirror I see someone struggling. Struggling to let go of urges that overwhelm and consume large amount of time. I see someone struggling to gain control of his monkey mind always jumping from one though to another. Someone who is ashamed of his porn addiction and ashamed of himself. There is a feeling of being inferior and having a secret that nobody can really know.

I also see someone who is capable and strong. Someone who if disciplined enough and mindful enough can beat these urges and clear my mind of habitual sexual thoughts, desires, and actions. I see someone who can engage in intimacy and love on a whole other level.

My mirror reflects many things today I like what I see.

 

Mostly I'm sad.

I see myself but I'm sad that other people I care about see the same person physically but if they know what I've done they would be disgusted.

I tell myself that I'm still that person inside & out I just have to make sure I stay that person. Then I get pumped up about accomplishing it & I'm good again.

 

I see a man that could be anything he wants. I see a man that could be imortal if only he would get his priorities straight.

 

I see a guy who has wasted years! I see a guy who knows what he has to do. and I see a guy with a bright future!

 

PMO tells us many lies to stay alive - this isn't surprising since we want to kill it after all - and this is one of them. Shame means the desire to hide, to never show your face again, to think that you probably deserve the worst of punishments. It's the opposite of hope. We all need to confront the lies PMO tells us and have the courage to start again. So, I hope you'll be able to see that you do have a future, you can overcome this and you are not destined to be a failure. It's hard but getting back into the saddle and riding another few miles - even if you fall off further down the trail - is the name of the game.

Good luck and go for it - again!