I've been a member of the forum a little while but haven't posted for a while. I began my reboot last year but relapsed after 3 months. I'm trying again and so far have successfully accomplished a month. I've been feeling more confident with approaching women as my fitness regime. At Uni, just two days ago, I began talking with this really gorgeous girl. We've been getting along really well. Last night, after only three days of knowing her, I invited her over for dinner. She accepted, had an amazing time. We went onto the couch and began kissing. I could feel an erection coming on. She then mentioned to me that she wanted to experience it with a guy as all of her exes were girls. I was BEYOND excited. I nod to the bedroom, she nods back. We go in there - completely flat. NOTHING. We try for nearly an hour. No action. I feel totally depressed, not only for me, but also for her. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I really wanted it. Now I think it's even ruined friendship. I hate myself. I'm feeling really negative. She says sex is important to her and that I need someone who turns me on. But she does. She's gorgeous, smart, and we have similar interests. I wasn't turned off in the slightest. What the hell is going on?!
I'm no expert (in fact, this is my first post ever on this site) but it sounds like porn induced erectile dysfunction. I've had the same thing happen. I went months without sex and then finally got with a girl and NOTHING. I was so embarrassed. All I could do was to apologize over and over. The fact that you got an erection while making out is a good sign. Maybe you just overthought it once you went into the bedroom. You don't say how old you are but I'm 56 and my doctor said it happens sometimes to guys my age so he prescribed me a pill that starts with V (the word itself I guess is banned here) which has helped somewhat but not completely. As far as the girl goes, if you really like her I would go with the "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" philosophy. You could tell her the truth (that might creep her out) or make up some crap on how you were intimidated by her beauty. Or try 50 mg of a pill that starts with V. Sorry if none of this helps. I'm new to the site and new to this whole concept (day 6...woohoo!) and saw your post and saw that no one had posted so I wanted to chime in with hopes of letting you know that you're definitely not alone and that shit like this happens. Keep up the good fight!
Tell her about your PMO addiction. Don't tell her to try to get her to not care what happened. Tell her because you're still interested in her, and she needs to know what she's getting into.
This. Be straight up with her about your situation, and say it confidently, guarantee she won't be creeped out. When I see members on this forum saying they feel too embarrassed to tell anyone about this, I shake my head. I've openly told close friends and any girls that I'm seeing about my acute PIED. There's nothing to be ashamed about. And sounds like you have PIED bro, go minimum 90 days PMO free, but longer (up to 180 days) may be needed. Start ASAP. Sooner you begin the reboot, sooner you will be healed
Like all slimy, crawly, and nasty things, the darkness is where it grows. Sunlight is (scientific fact) the best disinfectant.
I just got a script for V. I haven't actually paid for anything yet, but I have the paperwork if I really want the pills. Should I use it? I'm 31 years of age.
No. First, get PMO out of your life. If, after a reboot, you still suffer ED, then explore other medical causes. All the V will do is enable the addiction, and continue to ruin your life.
I have been in a pretty similar situation to you. I am 24 year old virgin, I couldn't get it up when I was about to have sex earlier this year. I was in love and thought that the only right choice was to tell her the truth about my PIED and that it might take some time before I recover. She was very understanding and opened herself up to me and explained that she had also have problems with her sex life, which made me like her even more. We talked, cuddled, kissed for a whole weekend. However, a week later I found out that she had slept with another man, after our date. It broke my heart, it crushed my self confidence and made me feel like a real loser. She started to try to take advantage of my feelings by making me do things for her. And when I kindly refused (because I knew she wasn't interested in me anymore) she slowly pushed me away. This was almost 6 months ago, but to this day I sometimes ask myself, should I have told her something else? Should I have lied to her? And I think the answer is no. It is a very brave thing to do, to open yourself up and tell someone about your problems. If they like you, they will stay and wait for you. If their love for you isn't strong enough, they will probably leave. These experiences however lit up a spark in my motivation for recovering completely and improving myself. So my advice is, tell her the truth, but be prepared for the outcome. Let it be her choice, no one deserves to live under a lie. If she leaves you, let these experiences be the motivation for your recovery.
