Autistic man.. what can I do?

Try to ensure that your therapist is well versed in forms of sex addiction, dopamine dependency, brain plasticity, etc. Sadly, most therapists are not. In my experience therapists that are not schooled and current about these issues can be a tremendous waste of time and potentially money. If your therapist does not seem knowledgeable in these areas, don't be afraid to move on and find another.

Best of luck, mate.

 

I agree. You should seek a therapist that has experience with at least addiction, especially sexual addictions and also anxiety and would be beneficial for you if they are experienced with treating patients with Autism. I have been on antidepressants before and they seemed to help with my anxiousness at the time. But you may need an anti-anxiety medication in addition to or in place of an antidepressant in order to function in daily life, especially with sleep!

I have to tell you that you are not alone with your addiction, but also with Autism. Many people with autism do find a partner. Getting the porn addiction under control will help with your future relationships and there are many women out there that are in a relationship with someone with Autism. You have to realize that your porn addiction has altered the way you interact with others right now. If you get through this part, you will be surprised to see that you are capable of having a relationship with a wonderful woman. Please do not give up on yourself, it is not hopeless. Get the help you need first and then things will start to change in your life.

 

Yes, it does make sense. But porn use escalates because you become desensitized by it after a while and then start to seek more drastic porn, which is why you ended up watching transgendered person porn. So porn itself is bad and you will end up watching things that go against your morals again eventually. I understand masterbating may ease your OCD, that makes sense. But maybe there is a way to do that occasionally without using porn or other fake stimuli like music videos as you mentioned. But having OCD means you are feeding your obsessions with the compulsion to masterbate. You don't want to exhaust yourself masterbating too much. Maybe there is a replacement for that so you don't make your condition worse

 

Hello
Thanks for sharing your story. It was a brave first step.
Your future does not have to be dictated by your past. What you are doing now - a reboot, will change your life. When you find an amazing therapist - it will change your life. You can find support for every up and down from other humans who are also afflicted with troubles.
Despite what you have done or seen, and who you think you are because of it, it's not true. Your creator loves you so much and he doesn't judge you by what you've done. So from now on, you can make positive change.
I don't believe you can't get a girlfriend, but you shouldn't be seeking one until your sexuality is healed again. So yeah, I'll pray for you.

 

I am not sure about how many times is safe to masterbate, I think everyone is different. I would focus on getting a therapist that will be able to help you with your specific needs. And I believe that taking SSRIs until you can get to a better place emotionally will benefit you. Being in a better emotional state will also help with your anxiety and OCD. I don't believe you will need the medication for life. Many addicts on here have anxiety, OCD, ADHD etc and have found their symptoms reduce after they have been actively rebooting hard core mode. Take the meds for now to while you are starting your reboot, continue with therapy and you may be surprised at the results

 

My friend, I'm an Aspie myself. Your autism won't keep you from getting a relationship unless you let it. I'm working on that goal myself. We can do this.

 

I understand entirely. As I've said numerous times on this site, though, one of my goals is to marry and start a family. It's not easy to reconcile the two, but it is possible. I know because I've seen other Aspies pull it off.

 

I admit, though, especially in High School I would go entire afternoons shut in my room just enjoying my solitude.

 

Hey man, I quoted only specific parts of your post - the ones that I can relate to the most. I am also "on the spectrum" as they say, and I have had these EXACT thoughts. Honestly it was blowing my mind to read your post. It is very difficult to want a relationship but then have to come to terms with the reality that it may never happen. I'm 26 and it has yet to happen for me. I have tried several times, but it is so hard to connect with someone romantically, and to manage all the emotions that come with it. It seems like once you've offended a woman she will never, ever, forgive you, and it doesn't matter if you have autism. People can't understand what it's like. I often get very frustrated when I try to communicate my feelings to a girl and she doesn't get it at all. I have told several girls who I like that I hate them, because I just lose control of my emotions. So, I feel your pain, and you're not alone. That's really all I wanted to say.

If I can offer a positive: you say you are good-looking and get lots of tinder matches, so you've got that going for you. (I get next to zero matches on tinder.) Maybe you can turn these into some healthy sexual experiences, without a relationship. And, at the very minimum, keep in mind that porn was making you unhappy, and it doesn't need to have a place in your life.

I don't have all the answers, or really any, but you seem like a good man, and we can never know what life will bring us, so control the things we can (like abstaining from watching porn) and hope for the best otherwise. Good luck with everything!

 

The loss of sensitivity could be related to overuse of porn and/or masturbation. I think that is universal with people - too much stimulation to the genitals causes a decrease in sensitivity. If you only masturbate once a week, I'm sure the sensitivity will return.

As far as the urges to sleep with a transsexual, I would suggest trying to let go of some of the anxiety around it. Try not to think of it as so wrong, but rather just a casual thought you have. I've been to lots of therapy and they always talk about your thoughts being like a leaf floating down a river. Recognize them, watch them float down, and then let them pass. I think this works better than trying to control your thoughts, although I'll admit it is easier said than done. I definitely ruminate over negative things when I should just let them go.

 

I would say giving up obsessive behaviour up is easier than trying to control it. What happened is that: obsession are part of ritualistic behaviour pattern that we do over and over, all the addictions are in fact obsession but some may have physical dependance attached to it too. But the truth is, any repetitive behaviour we can not control or stop is obsessive.
Obsessive behaviour serves one purpose only and it is to protect you from facing your uncomfortable emotions. So lets say you feel pain and then you go on and engage in repeated act of some sort, that pain goes away. Actually you do not even feel that pain as long as you engage in compulsions so you might not be aware of it existence. They offer a false sense of safety. PMO also stops us from feeling and seeing things how they are.

So when you stop any addiction then one is faced up with shit amount of pain to process and feel and deal with and often deteriorates and becomes quite sick. So in a way, we are all here lacking emotional processing skills. But those they can be learned.

Also never give up on yourself. If you become PMO free, that in itself will improve the level of connections you are able to form with other people. But the way out is always difficult and we feel worst before we can feel better.