Hey everyone, I have not been on this site for a long time as I went back to PMOing and stopped caring about abstaining from porn or masturbation. It must have been almost a year since this because I remember starting nofap when I was just about to turn 18, and I am about to turn 19 shortly. Anyways I went 120 days without masturbating and 140 without looking at porn. I felt like it wasn't really benefiting me and I decided to go back to PMO. My reasoning for doing NoFap previously was to get these so called super powers, such as confidence, not being shy etc. This time it's much more serious because I have experienced ED for the first time. I have been with this girl and every time we are about to have sex I will not get hard. Once I go to put the condom on to be specific. I always get hard around her and when she gives me head I'm always really hard. Just when It's time to have sex I lose it. It is extremely frustrating and I'm wondering if it's me being nervous or what because I'm always hard before, or if it's actually ED. Any help or advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
It's the PMO. The working up to sex is stimulating to you but the actual sex isn't what your porn addiction has trained your brain to be stimulated by and you lose your erection. PMO kills intimacy and sex. My SO has had PIED and DE throughout our relationship and what I realize now after finding out about his addiction is that whichever physical issue that was plaguing him at the time was dependent on whether he had a lot of alone time during the days and hours leading up to us having sex. The DE was almost constant but the ED was when he had tons of time on his hands, like working opposite shifts from me. The times he could actually finish was when we spent a large amount of time together for a couple of days and therefore had no time for himself. Give up the PMO and reboot your brain so you can experience what a real sex life is all about. It is much more amazing than spending that time with yourself! Good luck!
Thanks for your help. Do you think it will take 90 days of rebooting to get hard for her? I just wanna have sex and don't wanna be super weird and tell her it will take 3 months... I am 100% ready to give PMO forever now because this is extremely frustrating and sucks. I have way more of a reason to give it up and last time I did 140 days it wasn't very hard for me.
Not necessarily. My SO and I have been having great sex throughout his reboot and his PIED and DE have diminished, but not so easy to go again after O that day. He started his journey 7 weeks ago and even within the first week there was great improvements. It would depend on you and your addiction. He is now experiencing a bit longer lull after sex so he may be starting to experience a flatline...but hopefully not.
Just be aware if you are able to have sex and O with her, that you may experience the chaser effect, which may bring to a relapse if you are not careful.
It can also be an aversion to the condoms that you are using. This may explain why you are aroused during the BJ, but the condom may be strangling you. There are so many types of condoms out there. Some fit better than others. Some are thinner for more pleasure for you. Some have grooves and warm lubrication for her pleasure (which may increase your arousal). Perhaps your repertoire for putting on the condom needs to be perfected. Do some research and experimentation. Stay safe.
I also thought about the condom being the problem , it's like as soon as I go to the washroom to put it on I lose my erection. It is possible for her to go on birth control so maybe that will work. In normal cases of ED is it normal to not get hard in any situation with a girl? I always get really hard just being with her even if it's just light touching and not sexual things that's why I never thought this would happen to me. Thanks
Condom repertoire is also very important. Why are you alone in the washroom struggling to put on the condom? Why are you not staring at your lover in the bedroom when you are putting it on? Perhaps she should be putting the condom on you.
