I live with a beast, but he is my friend.

I no longer hate my addiction. Where I am at today is a process of discovery. I understand what it is like, to fill yourself up with determination, only to find yourself in the same deep hole of perceived despair and failure.

But we never fail, unless we decide we have failed. I have come to accept that my sexual nature is a natural (hence nature) part of me that I can either embrace or condemn.

And like with anything else in life, it wouldn't be wise to wield this power with reckless abandon, nor would it be to shove it down where it will only grow mold and eventually take us over again.

Our job, I think, is to find that place in between. This means understanding that pornographic pictures and ideas are often a part of our daily life, even if just on accident, or driving by a billboard.

The solution isn't in closing our eyes to the existence of porn in the world or shutting out every passing thought. The solution is deeper inside of us. The solution is in acceptance.

When a lot of us grew up, we were told that cigarettes were bad. For a lot of us, that didn't stop us. And for many of us, it made us more curious. Because, see, people lied to us. Cigarettes are actually amazing, particularly for somebody who has stress and wants to do something with their hands.

Now if all those people would spend more time teaching people how to handle stress as opposed to trying to convince them to condemn cigarettes, people susceptible to smoking would probably have a better chance of passing it up.

So, today I don't think that porn is evil, or that any of my thoughts are. I don't think my urges are bad or unholy. What I do know for sure, is that I have a daily opportunity to make responsible decisions.

I ask myself questions such as these: "Will watching porn right now affect any upcoming plans that I have?" "How will doing this right now affect my relationships?" "Is there something else I should be doing right now?"

And even then I may "fail". But that does not mean that I'm going to hell. It doesn't mean that I'm a sick bastard or a scummy human being. See, so much of this is the cause of our inner critic, our inner judge that tells us we're not good enough. The one that was programmed by a society and media that doesn't embrace human nature.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, first we should focus on embracing ourselves, 100%, fully, wholly. Only then can we start making better decisions about porn, and pretty much anything else in our life.

Remember, some of the best people in the world have strange thoughts, habits and feelings. It is how you wake up and decide to bring light into the world that matters.

Don't let these habits, or recovery itself take over your life. Today is a new day.

Thanks.