Forgetting the past and new outlook

Hey Kristen,
I appreciate your effort to break your habit i know how hard it is to break bad habits you are strong girl. Keep on moving forward .

 

If you ask me... this doesn't sound very healthy. You shouldn't do nofap to make other people happy. You should do nofap to make yourself happy.

Please don't go down into the hole of selfhate. That will only make things worse. Your are fine as you are. You just have a little problem with porn addiction. Not the end of the world. It can be fixed. There is no evidence that you are going to burn for ever for that.

 

Well this doesn't have anything to do with my personal views. I am not advocating anything here. I just wanted to point out that 1) there are more than enough secular reasons for doing nofap and 2) I don't think it is very healthy to view yourself as a slave so much. Bringing yourself down all the time, never being good enough, always falling short. That way I can pretty much guarantee you that you are never going to be happy.

Shouldn't your goal be to be happy with yourself foremost? To enjoy this short time on earth to the fullest?

 

The past, created by human ignorance, is all the time being cleansed into purity. If you abstain from ignorant action, every aspect of your conciousness will be restored to a place of purity and truth. This is the law of the universe. If you directly contradict that law and engage in ignorant action, then you will return to conflict. But if you simply walk away, as you are doing now, then your past problems will fade into nothing. They will fade away like the sounds of the city fade when you walk into the woods.

Seeking God and personal happiness are inter-related. True happiness for the self lies in understanding the nature of "God", or what I would call the "Supreme Intelligence", and aligning personal behaviors in accordance with that intelligence.

Modern society tends to shun morality and those who aspire to true happiness. Our society preaches materialism as the true end: seeking fulfilment in material pleasure. But this pursuit is base, vain, and unworthy of the human condition. It denies the higher mental aspects of the human being in favor of her lower, base desires. It promotes the common while denying the righteous.

Those who do something and then feel bad about it are often told that it is wrong to feel bad, to feel guilty. But is it wrong to feel bad?

For example. If someone kills an innocent person. Is it wrong for them to feel bad? Most would argue that the murderer should feel bad, that remorse in this instance is correct. This remorse is called "atonement", or realigning the individual will with the higher laws of the universe. That person has deeply disturbed the creative harmony of the universe, and cannot escape that disturbance in any way. The only way is to face it and atone for it, suffering any pain and consequences that such atonement would involve.

Perhaps an action is not wrong because we think it is wrong, but rather it is wrong because that action did not bring about harmony with the greater laws of the universe. It did not bring about a higher creative good. Action that is harmonious and concerted with the higher laws make us deeply happy as individual people. This is why the true purpose for sex, which is having children, tends to make people so happy. It is a creative act.

Your feelings of disgust exist because you aspire to exist on a higher level of conciousness. Someone without these aspirations would be content in their debauched behavior and satisfied with a life of ignorance.

But at some point in your life you have felt the true value of seeking God, and thus in contrast to this higher pursuit your lower level behaviors are causing deep conflict.

Sometimes I fall off of my path and look at porn, and afterwards I feel a deep disgust and disunity in my soul.
It is the same issue, fundamentally.

 

Im a christian too, Im a fulltimer servant (worship leader, prayer team n we do it 3 times a day, mentor in my university ) but u know inside i am fucking shit addicted to porn.