Hi all, I've been working on my PMO addiction for a while now. In determining my day count, or assessing my sobriety, I think my definition of "porn" has changed somewhat, so I wanted to get a sense of how others define it. Here's my definition: (1) If there is sexual activity between two people, it's porn. (2) If there are exposed private parts, it's porn. (3) If I use it to edge, M, or O, it's porn, even if there is no explicit nudity. So here's the thing... in the past two months, I have not looked at porn in the sense of how most people define: naked people doing sexual things. That's why I included (3) in my definition of porn. Having not looked at explicit "porn" in many months now, just seeing pictures of attractive women can set me off and lead me to relapse by doing (3). Is that progress? I don't feel very "sober" per se, but I do feel like my brain has recalibrated. I probably haven't found a regular clothed picture of a regular human being sexually enticing since I was 12 years old! Anyway, curious as to how others makes sense of this.
Anything that arouses me, that isn't my wife. That is my definition of what I should not be looking at.
I can sympathise with this, I have had the same over the last few months, abstinence and relapse, then abstinence again, leading to substitution which led to relapse. I found myself furiously M in the bathroom too recently, with P on my phone, and realised I'm just a W##ker, so I've fresh energy to beat this. Any way, I'm digressing... It's a slippery slope from innocent pictures to M material. My opinion of it is that if you seek it to get your dopamine fix, or end up using it for that purpose, then it's porn. Be it lingerie models, nudes, porn videos, anything. I don't agree that one should only look at their partner, but this is obviously completely up to the individual. For me it's natural to admire other people, however, I do mean this in a relatively innocent sense- admire for beauty, not for kicks. And when I do start to fantasise, I try to ensure the focus of my fantasy is my Fiancée, which ends up much more rewarding. As for the feeling of sobriety. I have never had it, because I'm always striving for better, and the bottom line standard of behaviour is always moving up, improving... Unless I relapse. My best technique so far, not in time, but it rate of change in mindset, had been to tell myself NO, and read blogs here on NoFap, or plan my reward for success. Sorry for blabbing... First post on here!
Idk tough to classify, i just know half of the time MOing leave me feeling lonely and depressed afterwards. So trying to avoid anything that triggers that. Even thinking back some hookups just to get my rocks off werent healthy either. We are naturally have sexual attractions, but the idea is to not let it control you. I agree with your loose definitions, but I think it matters less classifying what it is than trying to keep anything from triggering what you feel is an unhealthy habit.
I had a stroke in 2012 and all the meds I'm on keep me flatlined and unable to be active. I don't M or O even when I look at P it seems I mostly want to see nude women not sex, but that is still bad, I don't like hardcore stuff at all but I hate the constant cravings to watch and I feel nothing, I want to dtop
Awesome. OP, sry if this is harsh, ever heard of a dictionary? FFS lemme help you out surely a quick google coulda given you the answer but it seems you like to be spoon fed the obvious. Call me a dick for shooting from the hip sry brah. From Merriam-Webster : pornography /poɚˈnɑːgrəfi/ noun Learner's definition of PORNOGRAPHY [noncount] often disapproving : movies, pictures, magazines, etc., that show or describe naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement If you ask me, his movies are just high-class pornography. In depth explanation here, britannica.com/topic/pornography
I hope you get better My friend had a stroke over 10 years ago, had his throat slit, luckily he is alive and can function well on his own, never did have to take meds, he practices Qigong and Tai Chi which healed him quite miraculously, but still can't use one of his hands normally. He is actually still healing from it and the Doctors are astonished at the progress he has made. Strokes are very serious wish you the best in recovery
Thank you I am on disability now but I work part time as a C N A taking care of my Autistic son, he is 4. I get these crippling migraines now on a weekly basis as a result of my stroke.
To be fair that definition is a bit rubbish as it implies porn must involve nudity. Porn can be girls in bikini's if you ask me or those attention grabbing tease chicks you see all over Instagram. I should know, I've been addicted to looking at tease models who don't necessarily show "the goods" for years and it effects my brain in exactly the same way.
I agree with what @The6thRhythm said. Psubs (instagram attention seekers, scantily clad youtube women, whatever the case may be) have been one of the hardest things for me to deal with when fighting this addiction. My brain tries to trick me and tells me "its ok, they arent naked so it isnt porn" but in reality its still causing the dopamine rush, still causing the post M guilt and depression, still affecting my life negatively, so although not the classic definition, it can still be considered pornography to some
Somewhere back in my brain I recall reading what a US Supreme Court judge said describing porn. He said something like, "I don't know what pornography is, but I know it when I see it." I guess it's in the eye of the beholder. Be assured that the "porn hustlers" on Instagram, Twitter, etc. know just how to manipulate their audience to get the "biggest bang from YOUR buck." One babe loves to dildo herself on her boyfriends coffee table, but she wears a loose fitting top to make her look sexier. She also likes to Tweet GIFs some are over two years old showing her "performing" in short 10 second scenes. My point is, she's smart enough to use various types of "come on's" to lure in the guys with different tastes. I also could get turned on by a girl in a bikini showing nothing, or even a woman fully dressed but in a hot mini skirt. What really helped me, was when I started to find out more about these girls and their personal lives, and in some cases that despite all this lavish living they supposedly do, in reality it's a fake reality, and most of them are fakes as well. That was a very big help for me.
