it's okay to distance yourself from some of your friends

Hey, a similar thing happened to me 2 years ago. At that time, I was active on nofap, but some of my "good" friends convinced me that it is okay to masturbate occasionally. Due to that, I slowly left nofap and started masturbating again.

However, this time I am super motivated and I also have good friends. Even this time, when I told my friends that I was going to stop fapping, they tried to convince me otherwise, but eventually they said that even they will try to stop and motivate me(although I doubt how motivated they are and how long they can stop).

 

This is like any other addiction. You will get resistance from "friends" that don't want to change their own behaviour. Often times that means you have to give them up to better yourself. This addiction in particular, is so difficult because it is so engrained in every culture (men are supposed to: objectify women; need sexual stimulation from anywhere; have no control over their "sexual appetite"). You will get many men, but also women who will think you are ridiculous for thinking porn is bad and abstaining from it. But you know better. You know what is wrong with porn and all of the side effects that PMO has caused you. Whenever going through life changes, we have to weed out those who no longer fit into our life goals. Be proud of yourself for recognizing this and seeking better for yourself. This addiction is so underground, it's even portrayed as normal in sitcom television. You will get resistance and people that just don't get what you are doing. But tell them, open up to why you are choosing to better yourself and why porn is wrong. This addiction needs to be brought to light. If your friends can't see what is wrong with it or how it actually is affecting them personally, it is ok to disagree and distance yourself from them. You are a better person for trying to overcome this addiction. Be proud of what you are accomplishing. And find like minded people to enjoy your life with.

 

I think if you two are friends, you should try to make him see what is wrong in his life. Don't just shut the door. He likes you and this might leave him hurt. He might ask himself what did I do?

So, explain that you aim new things in life, maybe he can join you and you two still have a much stronger bond as friends.

See if that is possible, up to you.

 

I heard a quote saying that your income is the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. But I also think that the social status and mindsets of those around you influence your decisions and actions, especially when in company with them. Self-Improvement has been a large topic on my mind lately, but I haven't prepared the mental and physical space required to pursue any goals. Much of this delay can be attributed to the imaginary obligations to spend time with friends who do not seem motivated to improve themselves. I didn't realize that I didn't need to obligate my time to them after reading your post, so thank you for the idea. Perhaps this is relative to my poor friend making skills in person too, though this has much to do with how I feel about myself (which is often poor if I recently PMO'd).

 

Sometimes you outgrow friends or they outgrow you. I have a simliar friend who only hits me up to get trashed.
I also have a group of drinking buddies that I recently realized that they are not friends at all. So I been trying to distance myself from them to

 

You would have to go to places to meet them. Like meetup.com you could find lots of like minded people to do things with. I attend a men's group meeting here and there, I plan on attending more frequently so I hope to find some quaility to
friends down the road. Maybe you can try that. Hope that helps

 

A big milestone on the path to growing up is learning how to disconnect yourself from friends or influences that no longer align with your life goals, or at worst actively work as roadblocks to them. Good on you for placing a higher value on your own journal and self image over what others will think.

 

I have been going through similar circumstances. People are understanding. Everyone has their own problems to deal with. Don't feel bad unless someone confronts you. Explain your circumstances. If they cannot understand you want what's best for your well being, move on. Most of the actual drama is created in our heads though. Remember that.

 

Hey, can also very much relate to all of this. I have not spent time with any of my friends in over 4-5 weeks and I must say that it has been tough at times and I've felt pretty bad about it, but in the end it's probably the best decision I have taken along with going back to Christ and doing Nofap. In the end, you can only truly create your OWN success and yes you may share this with others, but you have to grow on your own. Someone mentioned the 'rule of 5' and I can tell you that this is very true. My friends thought that Nofap was downright stupid and all they do is indulge in negative talk and smoking weed. This can really bring you down if you're looking to be ambitious in life and have a positive outlook. Stay strong everyone and all of the best with your reboot!!!