Eight days into my No PMO journey. I'm fit to climb the feckin' walls! During the days I'm fine, when I cane keep my mind and body busy but the minute I lie down at night *BAM* urges hit me like a train. It's so difficult, I just lay there trying to breath or gritting my teeth. I've managed to have sex, purposely avoiding orgasm, this past week and it wasn't this hard. Help! Tell me it gets easier! Is there anything I can do to 'cool off'?
Make sure you stay busy and workout/run/jog during the day so you wear out early at night and go to sleep easily.
Keep strong man, embrace the challenge don't worry about it getting easier instead make yourself stronger, lift some heavy freaking weights, and purposely go to bed early and drink some sleepytime tea or get some melatonin. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine far away from your phone or computer.
I was trying to practice karezza sex. You still have the neurochemical crash for days after orgasm if you do it by yourself or with someone else and that's what I'm trying to avoid. According to that book, with karezza sex you finish feeling satisfied, not hungry for more and like you're not done. I was kinda skeptical so I tried it out and they were bloody right! The sex was really good and I wasn't left with blue balls, or whatever the lady version of that is.
I think a new bedtime routine is the thing. That's when I usually switched to Incognito mode on the phone. I figure my body just associates that time of night with orgasm now, gotta break that connection somehow. Totally new routine is the way to go, I think. Thanks, mate!
I can second that. A good daily routine is important and as I'm trying to improve it for myself I realized using any electronic devices (laptop, phone etc.) in bed at nighttime is usually a bad idea because even without porn it can easily lead to staying awake way longer than you wanted. Another probably controversial idea: if you find it difficult to abstain from PMO try rescheduling it. Means do it if you must but never at the time when you usually do it, disconnect it from your routine and usual triggers.
Yes, that's a good advice, it works good for me. Sometimes, when I get an urge, I think "OK, urge, give me 5 minutes". Then I go into a meditation, and soon the urge is forgotten.
Yes absolutely. The addiction has a lot to do with routine and automation. Our mind is actually a self-learning computer. Once it has learned some routines, it likes to repeat them. So, when certain known situations appear, then the mind is starting the "matching" routine - in this case the PMO routine.
@70DegreesNorth If it was easy, everyone would do it NoFap is a great challenge for the body and the mind.
When you get an urge relax your body, stop grinding your teeth, stop forcing your breath, calm down, long and deep breaths. Then bring your mind to the present moment and put your mind on some other channel.