Let's talk about Strip Joints [ potential triggers ]

I had a pretty full on PMO addiction, but so much is obvious from my presence here. Strip clubs weren't my thing for one reason. I looked in the girls faces and all I could see was complete boredom. If anyone reading this finds themselves relapsing into going to the strips, and gee I hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, take a look at their faces.
Some people have made some unkind and bold generalisations about the strippers. Some might fit the unkind category, some might be nice, some unhappy, some paying their way through education. They are all bored. (OK, my sample size = 10. That's not enough to say all...) But I guess if you're known at a particular club they might be able to 'switch it on' and feign interest. Hmmm, ok, possibly my least helpful post to date. I thought about deleting it, but I won't on the off chance it resonates with someone.
Oh, there was a second reason. Money. I liked affordable addictions. Except work. Never been a workaholic.

 

Strip clubs have been a trigger for me as well. Living on my own, I can drive to a strip club anytime and talk to a hot girl. I also stopped going with friends.
The interesting part I find is that sometimes, let's say 30 minutes after, I start "dreaming" or wondering what I would have done with all the money I have spent to date on those joints. At the end of the day it's not just money, it's also time that's wasted. Yet I still go afterwards. I've struggled to stop mostly because my train of thought has always been " well it's just one more time, won't hurt".
I find that the guilt is reduced by 1) knowing you paid for a "service" provided by her and 2) knowing that I don't have a girlfriend who I'm committed to.

 

I've been to a few strip clubs in my life... and I'm torn on my thoughts of them. All of my interactions at clubs have been somewhat positive. The women are friendly and if you have a relationship with security staff, the DJ, the bartenders, and/or the owners, you will have stories to tell.

However, the experience feels mostly the same. It's primarily artificial, the women are almost always in sales mode & designed to remove money from your wallet, and the alcohol they sell is designed to make a person forget how much they spend.

I can see young women using that job as a means to pay for a better life, especially if they have a limited education, which makes me sympathetic to wanting to give money. Some of the strippers are getting through school, getting through personal issues, have a child to take care of, etc.

I believe that no matter what you think about the establishment or of strip clubs in general, if you choose to go to one, please be nice to the workers and tip generously. Many of the staff survive on tips.

 

I've only been to a strip club once, apart from a couple of times when I just walked in, had a quick look and disappeared when anyone approached me.

I'm really not tempted to go back again. I was pretty drunk and a pair of the girls there got some easy money off me. Then I threw up in the toilet lol.

It's all exploitative bullshit, just like casinos.

 

@ReadyToStop

Hello Mate,

I have been in the strip clubs several times.

You see, I have this friend who was going there on a regular basis. Smart guy, I mean really smart.

Last time, I went to topless bar, I have ended up talking to those girls.

I mean, I felt sorry for them.

I mean, when you see a girl who is smart enough and cute enough to be a good girlfriend, how can it be that a lot of them are so broken...

Some of them exploit guys, just because they can.

Some of them have strangely twisted mind, so that they are ok with stuff they would not be some 5 years ago...

And the last category are girls who need the money and they are forced to do that stuff just for that.

//

If you will happen to be there next time, it may be good idea to see the difference directly in such a place.

Go to sit on the bar and have a talk with the female bar tender.

It should become crystal clear to you what you want from life.
(definitely not the stripper and definitely not when you are porn addict)

//

I would suggest you go out and speak to real women. Find someone with solid character, good judgement and you will be much better off.

If you will get excited , then imagine that the girl is your daughter. The urge will go away and you will be able to feel nothing else but sorry for her.
(and usually for their parents...)

Last thing is that real talk and real connection will make you feel better then some jerk off in the strip club.

 

It's mostly to pay for cocaine, plastic surgery, and absurdly overpriced clothing [ they rip you off, and then they get ripped off]

I don't know about mom n pop restaurants and what not, but waitresses at nite clubs and strip bars make ridiculous amounts of tips. Some make more than doctors and pay very little tax.

 

I've been an infrequent visitor of strip clubs over the years - something I'd look forward to doing on those rare weekends when I'm left home alone. Interestingly, one way I came to realize that porn had become a problem is when I got to the point that I would rather stay home and watch cam girls. It got me to focus on prioritizing people (i.e. real, human experiences) over pixels. Of course, there are some good explanations in this thread of why clubs are also harmful to all people involved. I don't plan on going back with any sort of regularity but, for me, a desire to return might be a weird indicator of de-prioritizing porn or, more specifically, cams.

 

For me, strip clubs are part of the problem. In particular, one divey full nude club, where the girls almost all do whatever you want. I know for a lot of guys, the "next step up" is more extreme porn. My taste in porn didn't change, but my next step up was getting jerked off by girls at the club. Same dopamine rush from the visual stimulus, just someone else's hand. It's a different head of the same monster. I don't think it is inherently bad, but for guys with our issue, it exacerbates the problem. Plus I have a high profile job that could be put at risk entering a place like that, and I still did it anyway. QED it incentivizes irresponsible behavior.

 

In my opinion strip joints are for sure triggers, and doesn't help the PMO problem. In fact it probably helps the typical PMO'er "graduate" into a Hobbiest (one who pays for sex). I try to stay away from strip clubs since I know I have a problem.

On a separate topic, I do agree that being kind to strippers (even though they are trained to remove cash from your wallet... that is their job) is important. They are people just like you and me, and many have/have had hard lives. Just don't be a sucker.

 

I'll tell you a story that i've told on here before. probably about 7 or 8 years ago i visited my first and only strip club. It was for a friends stag party and begrudgingly i went along to the strip club after we all had our fill of alcohol. I remember as we all sat down there was this guy sitting a couple of tables away on some comfy sofa enclosure, he had unkempt hair, shirt undone and his tie was all over the place and he had many empty glasses on his table. Every few minutes girls would come up to him, have a little chat like they were his best friends but he looked like a man who had lost his pride and his mind.

Anyway, me and my then best mate got roped in to having a lesbian strip dance of all things to do on your first go, well to start with the two ladies were very attractive they were certainly nice to look at but what made it really really awkward is that i was sitting in the same booth as my mate and the girls swapped over from time to time. It freaked me out, and it was comparable to something like watching a film with your grandma and a raunchy sex scene appears lol but more to the point, i got the sense from the start that it was all 100% fake, they weren't dancing or stripping because they wanted to do it for me personally, it's a show and it's as if their eyes look straight through you and that's the feeling i got. I'm kind of grateful that my experience was off putting because the way i behaved with porn could have spilled over to visiting strip clubs or seeing hookers if i had the money.

 

I don't like them a lot, mostly a place to get blue balls (although here in my country the women there can be hired for sex without legal consequences), bit I do thing that they were made to exploit the desires of men, especially the ones that have compulsive behaviour or have other addictions like alcohol or gambling.